[Sweet Pea]

I am in a relationship going on 5 years but I don't think he cares about how I feel or that I have been having a difficult time with the loss of my grandmother a couple years ago and then the loss of my favorite uncle whom was more of a father figure than an uncle shortly a year after my grandmothers passing. My grandmother was more like a mom to me and she was definitely my best friend.

[gayleggg]

It is hard for others to understand grief and loss if they haven't really been affected by in there life. Also, everyone processes grief diferently. I know I'm still grieving the death of my mother(best friend) 5years ago and my dad 3years ago. My husband doesn't really understand. He just don't let your mind go there only remember the good times. That doesn't work for me. I still miss being able to pick up the phone and call my mom to tell her something I thought she might like. I thought I had gotten past the grief but the past few months have been hard for me.

Keep posting on here about your feelings to at least them out in the open.

[Frankbtl]

Have you actually come straight out and questioned him on whether/how much he cares or told him how he is making you feel? There can be a lot of misunderstanding about how to support others at times like those (and everyone is going to be individual in the grieving process anyway). Maybe he feels that behaving "normally" is the key or stopping you "dwelling on things". Do you think you could spell out to him the kind of support you want from him? Some people will be quite taken aback if they find that at times you only really want them to listen and be there so they may not even have considered doing this.
And perhaps understand that he may not be too comfortable at first, it's always hard seeing someone we love in pain and that can distance some people or make them want to stand back/deny it a bit.Try not to let it impact on your grieving process too much if you can.
Is there anyone else you can talk to about it though? Sometimes different people can be different sources of strength/help to us in times like those.
But we are here for you too if you need any extra support.
Alison

[sunsetsunrise]

Originally Posted by desperately lost

I am in a relationship going on 5 years but I don't think he cares about how I feel or that I have been having a difficult time with the loss of my grandmother a couple years ago and then the loss of my favorite uncle whom was more of a father figure than an uncle shortly a year after my grandmothers passing. My grandmother was more like a mom to me and she was definitely my best friend.

I am very sorry. Sorry for your loss. And sorry that he does not understand. I think that it can be more painful to be alone amongst other people, then it is to be alone by oneself. Sometimes people are afraid of feeling. So they keep that emotion at a very safe distance. And that includes empathy for those going through any kind of pain including grief.

[Gus1234U]

sadly, many people who have never experienced true grief cannot understand it, nor support it. at least you are aware of what is going on with both you and him, and can take the steps of grief on your own. perhaps there is a grief therapy group near you, or some other way you can find support outside the relationship.

best wishes~
Gus