My story in short....

ForevrMyAngel · Apr 22, 2014, 07:33 PM

Hello.
I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Kelly. Im 36.
My oldest son and i moved back to California with my sister and her family after my husbands funeral last week.
He died suddenly of a heart attack at 1230am april 10th Wisconsin. It was very traumatic.

Aug.Last Summer we quit our corporate jobs, sold evrything, packed up the truck and headin to the midwest (his home town) to start a new life. We had an amazing snowy winter, visited family, travelled, spent hours together and called everyday "Friday". We were finally content.

My husband being an only child, was always just a lil uncomfortable being so far from his aging parents. SO...we moved in with them. I love them and they are amazing.

"Im going to take a shower". Last words i heard. Or so i think. My memories are still cloudy and all over the place.
I heard the shower running for much longer then usual. I knocked on the door and heard no answer. Its locked. I wake his father and we try, what feels like forever, to get in the bathroom.

After 18 minutes of CPR they declared him dead.

I feel like my insides have been ripped out of my body, all my skin has been Burned off and I had a Lobotomy. My brain simply doesnt function correctly anymore.

12 days. I dont want 2wks to come. I dont want to do anything. I dont want to breath.

Unfortunately, hopefully, maybe, this will be the last traumatic event.....because i dont think i can survive anything else.
Ive been through a lot in my young 36 yrs.
I thought i would have been prepared. But nothing...ever..can..prepare u for this.

1996 lost my oldest Son father to Schizophrenia.
1997 single mother to our son.
2005 birth of my second son born with a rare birth defect
2007 divorce of my alcoholic husband
Severe depression&anxiety
2008 lost the battle of Custody.
Career, soulmate, PTSD, Therapy.
2014 death of my soulmate.

Just a list of the big ones. IM tired.....IM SO TIRED!

-K.