My mother, Wilma

My mother died of lung cancer in February of this year. She was a good mother to three daughters and four grandchildren. Her totem was a roadrunner and it suited her as she was always on the go. Did she ever walk fast!

She was a superb seamstress and fantastic with an embroidery needle. Her little dog was called Stitches. Fits, right?

Mother coped with my very verbose father by being very quiet. She rarely expressed anything contrary to his point of view.

She and I did not see eye to eye on most issues and our relationship was often strained but I loved her deeply. I rarely felt loved by her, but that's probably my own faulty thinking.

She made birthdays and holidays very special. Pretty cakes, elaborate fancy dinners, presents, decorations, songs, and joy.

It hurts that she has crossed over. I don't think I loved her enough. Grief is hot around my belly but cold in my chest, tight in my throat, angry on my inflamed skin. I just want to scream and wail.

Hello, Fishymoon, Grieving is difficult, especially with some guilt and regret in the mix.

Forgive yourself. Remember the good.

I am sorry for your loss

Your mom sounds somewhat like my mom. My mom also liked to embroider. Our relationship was also strained. When she was dying I was there for her though. Your post just resonated with me. I lost my mom on March 5th of copd. It is hard losing a mom. Just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one.

I'm so sorry for yr loss.losing a mother is one of the hardest things to go thru. I.just lost mine 4 weeks ago to lung cancer too. My mother didn't know how to love me or my siblings. She was emotionally abusive towards me tho. I have alot of guilt for even saying that now that she's gone. It was a tough relationship. Yr post really makes me feel that I'm not alone. My mom made wonderful holidays and birthdays when I was young. It hurts that she never played with me or held my hand. I have absolutely no memories of it. Zilch. But I too loved her deeply. I'm so sorry that she passed away. I've heard it gets easier with time. I sure hope so. Hugs to you.