[Violet Blue]

We knew he was depressed. We knew he was avoiding our calls and making excuses, but we really thought he was living his life the way he wanted. Or maybe we made ourselves believe that. He was drinking a lot more, becoming more of a recluse and somewhat ornery for a middle-aged man. But living out of state and 8 hours away, it was getting harder and harder to visually check on him.

So when the call came from his brother telling us that our friend had lit himself on fire and was in a critical care burn unit, we all said "we shoulda - coulda - woulda." Those thoughts came too late. Our actions, also too late.

We dropped everything and drove a long distance to the burn unit where we donned the gloves and masks and went to say good-bye. He cried. We cried. I told him, with all sincerity, that it was a pleasure to have had him as my friend.

It is always excruciatingly difficult to say good-bye. I was lucky (really? lucky?) scratch that - I was able to say good-bye to my mother and one sibling, but my father and two other siblings died suddenly.

Three days later, our friend died.

I hope he has finally found peace.

I have holes in my heart. I don't know how to fill them. I am the last one standing in my family. It's an empty feeling.

[Sabrina]

I am sorry for the tragic loss of your friend

[Violet Blue]

Thanks Sabrina.

You're right. It was tragic.

I really appreciate that you took the time to read and respond. It made me feel that someone heard me & cared. That speaks volumes.

[Insignificant other]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[Violet Blue]

Originally Posted by Insignificant other

I am so sorry for your loss.

Thanks to you as well, I.O.
Loss just sucks in general.

[Parley]

Originally Posted by Violet Blue

Loss just sucks in general.

I agree~

I said goodbye to my father and it seemed easier but I have no way of knowing. It just seemed normal in comparison to what I knew.

an awful way to lose a friend but glad you got to say goodbye.

[Violet Blue]

Thanks, Parley. For me, not having a chance to say good-bye is worse. As hard and painful as it is (not only emotionally, but physically too) to say good-bye to someone you love and care about, at least when you make that eye contact, you both know and understand the love and impending loss. When someone dies suddenly, you don't get to connect that one last time. But again, I say it often, loss just sucks in general and it's something we all go through.

[justmemaybe]

so sorry for your loss.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( Violet Blue ))))))))))
I'm sorry for your loss