I hope this is the right place....

My divorce was several years ago. My wife left me for a woman (snicker snicker, yeah I've heard all the jokes) about a year before the divorce. Our marriage was t great, but it was good I thought.

Intellectually, I know it's good that she's gone. I've never been so financially stable, never not been angry all the time..... But I still miss her.

Not a day goes by that I don't wish the last three years were just a bad dream. Or even worse that I just don't wake up one morning.

I miss my wife. I miss the one person who I THOUGHT loved me.

I've never had friends, and always have been "odd". I'm Bi-Polar II and have trouble with it every day. Until the day I met my wife, I thought I was going to be alone. I was kinda ok with it. At least I was resigned to it.

Then I met her and I was loved. I had someone who cared how my day was. Some one who wanted to listen to me.

It lasted thirteen years, almost. I'm now a single father of three sons (I have full custody, she is too busy to care) and barely keeping it together.

Since she left I've lost three jobs and tried to commit suicide once.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop missing her.

I literally go minuet by minuet wanting to kill her, and wanting her back. I can in the same breath cry over losing her, and imagining some horrible torture for her (yes, I'm a sick ****. I know that).

How does One get over losing the love of their lives? I honestly think it would be easier if she'd died.

I am sorry that your marriage ended that way. I have heard people say the death of someone can be easier than divorce from them. You might find it helpful to talk to a therapist about this issue, since it is lasting a long time.

Here is another forum with a divorce section: http://forums.psychcentral.com/relat...communication/.

I hope you will be able to move on soon.