[Curiosity77]

My cat is 16 and sick with kidney failure and it's complications. I am managing it medically, but it's only a matter of time, and i think we don't have much. I am already grieving even though she is still alive. I can't really imagine life without her, it will be very empty. She is my best friend and closest family. I am starting to unravel and slip into depression, despair. I don't know how i can find the strength to do this, especially because i will be alone. She always stays with me when i am upset, she is so beautiful and pure. I love you little one... Will miss you forever.

[sideblinded]

Curiousity77

I understand your anticipatory grief as I too had a pet (mini-schnauzer) who I had to put down last year. He had seizures and I knew that it was a matter of time. I was devastated at the idea that I was losing him.

You are one of many who think of their pet as family. It is heart wrenching to know that we only have a little more time with our pet. I am with you there. I feel your pain. It will take time until you feel better so be gentle with yourself.

[bounceback]

I was pretty much in the same boat. I had both anticipatory grief for my mom and my cat before they died. I knew it was a matter of time for both of them. My cat had end-stage kidney failure and I knew I was going to lose her this year. It is hard but you will get through it and go on. I did. I lost both my mom and my cat. I think I cried harder for my cat than my mom. It wasn't because I didn't love my mom. It was because like you said my cat was my best friend. She has been with me through everything. Just want to let you know you aren't alone with this.

[angelene]

I've dealt with this type of grief before. Knowing someone you love is going to die is awful. It can be soul crushing before and after you lose them. Just try to cherish the time you have left and think of the wonderful life you provided for her.

I sometimes have 'out of the blue' anticipatory grief about the loss of my pets, even though they are *knock on wood* far from their end (e.g., they're not ill or old). I think it speaks to how much they mean to us. Pets give unconditional love and it can feel unbearable and lonely to lose that connection.

[Lady Courtesan]

Dear Curiousity77-

You have my sympathy. I had my little Bear (my soul cat) for fourteen years and she developed cancer. I knew that no matter how much I wanted her to stay with me, but that I would not let her be in pain. About six weeks in I knew she was starting to feel it. I had a vet come to the house and she died in my arms.

I wish I knew how to tell you to get through this. I was devastated for a long time. It's been almost nine years now and I still miss her so. I have two other kitties I love to pieces, but they are not Bear.

When your baby is in pain, it's time to let her go, for her sake. My heart goes out to you and my prayers. Only time can help you heal. As for now, enjoy every minute together. LC