How to cope with your child's suicide

My only child took his life 53 days ago. It was always just the two of us and now he is gone.
I have a lot of support and love from my friends and family members but I've never felt so alone in my life. I'm broken.
I don't want to see people to talk about the grieving process and I don't want medication. I want someone to tell me that my precious, beautiful boy is at peace and no longer afraid. In short, I want to talk to someone who talks to spirits, someone who is kosher and knows nothing about me.
Has anyone else felt like this? Do you feel reassured after visiting a spiritulist?
I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind. Please help.
Many thanks.

hi benjaminsmum
i am not what you are looking for, but having been desperate enough to want to complete this act myself, i want to say i believe that benjamin is now at peace and no longer afraid. this act is about wanting the pain to end and now for him, it has. I am so, so sorry that you are left to deal with the after effects of this. I know this was not his intention. if you need to talk, after three posts, you can click on my name or any liaison and send us a private message, we would be happy to listen and support you. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Hello Benjaminsmum: Welcome to PsychCentral. PC is a great place to gain support, learn strategies for handling mental health concerns, & to make internet friends. There are many wonderfully supportive members here on PsychCentral. Two forums, here on PC, that may be of interest to you include:

Sanctuary for Spiritual Support - Forums at Psych Central

Grief and Loss - Forums at Psych Central

All new members' first 5 posts are reviewed before they become available for viewing by the community. So there may be a delay between the time that you submit your first 5 posts & the point at which they become available for viewing. However, once these initial posts have been reviewed & approved, your posts will become available for viewing as soon as you click the submit button.

There are quite a few forums in which you will be able to post. If you have not already done so, be sure to look through the listing in the Forum Index:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/

Each forum is listed in the Index along with a brief description of it's purpose.

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Should you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact any member of the Community Liaison Team. Best wishes...

I dont have any advice, but I just wanted to tell you that I am so, so sorry for this huge loss you have had. I cannot imagine how sad you mist be and I am so sorry youre going through this,

Every little bit of happy energy is being sent your way So saddened to hear....