[InACorner]

My grandmother was in the hospital....and then in a nursing home...i was sixteen at the time and i loved her dearly with all of my heart...I went to see her and the next week had homecoming....i had bought my dress and i was so excited to go...i never got along with the kids at my school but that was one of the very few times they pretended i wasnt there and didnt care...i was so looking forward to it...i was going to get my hair done and my nails done...something like a special treat for me...but my mom told me that she wanted to take me to see my grandma the night of my homecoming and didnt want me to go...at age sixteen i wanted to go to homecoming...i was looking so forward to it...plus in my mind i thought my grandma would get better even though my mom said she probably wouldnt..well i went to homecoming and my grandma died before i could go visit her again....at her funeral i bawled....i loved her so much and it hurt so bad...and my mother walked up to me...didnt console me...didnt hug me ...she said "The guilty always cry the hardest at the funerals....you will go to hell and pay for what you did...." That has never left me and has broken my heart everytime i think about it...the pain has never left me....i know i was wrong....i admit it...and i beg forgiveness...but thats all i can do...i loved her...i loved her so much....and i know it was wrong to go to homecoming..it was selfish....meh.................

(((((((((((INACORNeR))))))))))))))))))))))))

You by no means were selfish! You did and thought what any 16 old would have. Adults would have too. You will not go to hell. You loved her very much. And I bet she loved you as much.
hugs to you now!

[GYPSYEYES]

{{{{{{{{{{{{INNY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

please try to find some comfort in this.your grandmother knew how much you loved her and i'm sure she would have rather you gone to the homecoming and do what 16 yr olds are supposed to do . live and try to enjoy this life. and by not saying goodbye she never left you. shes with you always. hold your memories with her close and dont listen to your mother, mothers arent always right.

((((((((((((inny)))))))))))))

hey baby you are not selfish. you were being a teenager and that is what your grandmother would have wanted.

she is still with you, that is my belief, and would be heartbroken if she knew how you are hurting.
my grandad died when i was 16, he was my hero and the love of my life, the only person who ever cared about me. i wasn't allowed to the hospital to say goodbye, i know he forgives me and i know he's still with me so dont despair. you are not selfish at all.

love you, miss my grandad too more than anything. but i learned to live with the grief eventually, i still cry though about him and i'm 42 now.

love you, kerry xoxoxoxox

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Inny )))))))))))))))))

[January]

((((((( Inny ))))))

You weren't selfish. Your grandmother knew you loved her. She wouldn't want you to go through this guilt. Your Mom was mean and cruel to you. She had no right to say that to you.

Hugs,

Jan

[Rapunzel]

Inny, your mom said some cruel things to you, and that was one of the cruelest, it sounds like. How does it help your grandmother or anyone else for you to have to carry around something like that? I bet that your mom was always trying to get you to do something she thought was more important than letting you have the life that you wanted and deserved. One time you stood up for yourself and things turned out such that you wished you had made a different choice. Your mom used that to burn her point about not allowing you to have a life right into you. But you are allowed to have a life, and if your grandmother was the kind of person who loves and cares about you, then I am sure that she would want you to have a life too.

Rap

[InACorner]

(((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))

thank you soo much it has been haunting me soo much ....i know she knew i loved her dearly...and how she would come up to the steps of the trailor with a newspaper in her hand and always some goodies in her hand...and would sit in the corner of the couch....and you knew grandma was there if there were tissues stuffed down in the couch lol not on purpose but she would accidently sit on them and theyd be everywhere...and peppermints in her pocket...wit h those chocomints ...lol she was wonderful ....thank you everyone....

[jacq10]

((((((((((((((((InACorner)))))))))))))))
Try not to beat yourself up about it .. you were not being selfish ... I'm sure that you're Grandmother knew how much she meant to you and would only want the best for you, and I know that she wouldn't blame you for anything ...

[littlemissjess]

My grandmother and I were extremely close but unfortunately she had Alzheimer's and Dementia for 5 years. And this year I'm going to prom May 18th and my grandmother about 1 week before she died purchased my dress for me. I just found out yesterday too. But I cried when I found out, and I miss her so much. And you weren't selfish. I bet if your grandmother were alive she would say go to homecoming, because that's what she wanted you to do. So don't feel bad on yourself.