[adj92]

I lost one of my best friends and my love 4 years ago. I had just had surgery May 29 and then I found out the next day that my love killed himself. It killed me. I almost put myself back into the hospital. I still have trouble forgiving myself because I feel like it was my fault that he had gone and did what he did . I really don’t think it was my fault by any means but my mind keeps telling me that it.
How can I forgive myself and tell my mind that it wasn’t my fault?

[sideblinded]

adj92, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that you continue to be in pain. I don't know if you are spiritual but it helps to know that our time on this earth is numbered. I just lost a friend last week so this pain is still happening with me so very intently. It is normal to wonder if we could have done something to help them. When it is our time, it is our time. It is a very helpless feeling, I know. He is in a better place than this earth. The only one who is in pain now is you. Only you can decide to believe that it was not your fault. It may take some more time but it was not your fault. It was just his time to go. Be blessed and peace be with you.