Sudden unexpected death of girlfriend

Mike1947 · May 30, 2015 at 07:09 AM

After losing 2 wives to cancer.I finally found a soulmate, We were together 4 1/2 years and she died May 24 of what I found out later was cardiac arrest, She was in good health prior to this,. I now wonder what will I do with my life now? I know too early to make plans but I really feel confused.

gayleggg · May 31, 2015 at 07:50 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you are still in shock. It will take time for you to deal with the grief. Are you in counseling? If not, you might want to seek out a grief counselor.

Mike1947 · May 31, 2015 at 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you are still in shock. It will take time for you to deal with the grief. Are you in counseling? If not, you might want to seek out a grief counselor.

Thank you. I find the things helping me are talking and spending time with the friends I made through her, They have invited me to dinner and to trips in the future, They are calling me on the phone several times a day, I have also found that hard physical exercise does lift my mood. I realize these are just temporary fixes and I must deal with the grief.

Mike1947 · May 31, 2015 at 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you are still in shock. It will take time for you to deal with the grief. Are you in counseling? If not, you might want to seek out a grief counselor.

Thank you. I find the things helping me are talking and spending time with the friends I made through her, They have invited me to dinner and to trips in the future, They are calling me on the phone several times a day, I have also found that hard physical exercise does lift my mood. I realize these are just temporary fixes and I must deal with the grief.

Mike1947 · May 31, 2015 at 09:55 AM

Double post. My mistake

May 31, 2015 at 12:47 PM

hello.

so sorry for your loss.

hugs

pegasus · May 31, 2015 at 02:39 PM

Very sorry for your loss Mike, be gentle with you.

Mike1947 · Jun 01, 2015 at 12:33 PM

Starting first day of new month. Trying to get motivated to get into a routine, Need to pay bills etc. I feel fortunate that most nights I get phone calls from friends that last so long that my cell phone battery dies. Now keep charger nearby. Paying the bills keeps me distracted for a while.

Jun 01, 2015 at 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike1947

Starting first day of new month. Trying to get motivated to get into a routine, Need to pay bills etc. I feel fortunate that most nights I get phone calls from friends that last so long that my cell phone battery dies. Now keep charger nearby. Paying the bills keeps me distracted for a while.

distractions are good.

keep trying to find things to occupy yourself

great you're getting calls from people that care about you, too

Mike1947 · Jun 01, 2015 at 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

distractions are good.

keep trying to find things to occupy yourself

great you're getting calls from people that care about you, too

Yes. I retrieved more of my stuff from her house. But I still have not put it away, I talking about clothes and stuff. For some reason I am procrastinating about doing it. Really do not know why. For some reason I just put it on the floor. I know eventually I am going to have to put it away

Mike1947 · Jun 04, 2015 at 11:11 AM

I want to share my thoughts as it helps me and hopefully Help others. So many people have called and texted me.I will meet up with them in a few days. However now by myself. With work slow I find I am having an unusual feeling. I am actually feeling bored. Did not expect this. trying to find things to occupy my time. Going to try volunteer jobs etc.

Jun 04, 2015 at 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike1947

I want to share my thoughts as it helps me and hopefully Help others. So many people have called and texted me.I will meet up with them in a few days. However now by myself. With work slow I find I am having an unusual feeling. I am actually feeling bored. Did not expect this. trying to find things to occupy my time. Going to try volunteer jobs etc.

i just really hope that you can find something.

good luck

Mike1947 · Jun 04, 2015 at 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i just really hope that you can find something.

good luck

Hello. My appetite came back for a bit. Thinking about reading a book, Then maybe cutting the lawn. We are personally responsible for getting out of this boredom feeling. The reason I posted was that maybe someone who has lost someone has the same feeling.

Mike1947 · Jun 05, 2015 at 05:39 PM

I was having a bad feeling a while ago. Decided to cut the grass. it went away. Maybe this could help someone in a similar situation

jaynedough · Jun 07, 2015 at 09:49 PM

Mike, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I'm 50 and lived with my parents most of my life. My mom died in 2011 and my dad in 2013. I sleep in their bedroom now. I still haven't packed up all of their stuff, so my clothes are stacked on a chair and on a box. I have days when I can get rid of things, but it's slow going.

It sounds like you're doing some positive things. Staying active is good.

I hope you find some peace.

Mike1947 · Jun 08, 2015 at 10:01 AM

After trying for a while. I have finally landed a volunteer job.It will help to get out of the house and see and meet people. I am trying to everything I can to re start my life.

Mike1947 · Jun 08, 2015 at 07:35 PM

Another strange feeling I am having is boredom. I lived in my girlfriends house thursday thru Sunday. I was in my house all of Mon Tues Wed. I never had such feelings of boredom before. Exercise does help. Guess that grief is intensifying these feelings. Anyone else experience this?

jaynedough · Jun 08, 2015 at 10:30 PM

Is it boredom or being at a loss as to what to do?

Mike1947 · Jun 09, 2015 at 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaynedough

Is it boredom or being at a loss as to what to do?

Good morning. Good question.I have to think about this, Will post back if I get any insights.

Mike1947 · Jun 09, 2015 at 11:28 AM

I have found a video on you tube entitled "How to deal with grief. A radically different way"by Noah Elkrief. This finally explained to me the feelings I am experiencing. This video is outstanding. Different views on grief.

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Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	May 30, 2015 at 07:09 AM #1 After losing 2 wives to cancer.I finally found a soulmate, We were together 4 1/2 years and she died May 24 of what I found out later was cardiac arrest, She was in good health prior to this,. I now wonder what will I do with my life now? I know too early to make plans but I really feel confused.
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Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	May 31, 2015 at 09:55 AM #5 Double post. My mistake
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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	May 31, 2015 at 12:47 PM #6 hello. so sorry for your loss. hugs
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pegasus Q&A Leader Member Since Jan 2006 Location: Here Posts: 94,092 (SuperPoster!) 18 4,001 hugs given	May 31, 2015 at 02:39 PM #7 Very sorry for your loss Mike, be gentle with you. __________________ Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein
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Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	Jun 01, 2015 at 12:33 PM #8 Starting first day of new month. Trying to get motivated to get into a routine, Need to pay bills etc. I feel fortunate that most nights I get phone calls from friends that last so long that my cell phone battery dies. Now keep charger nearby. Paying the bills keeps me distracted for a while.
	Reply With Quote

Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	Jun 04, 2015 at 11:11 AM #11 I want to share my thoughts as it helps me and hopefully Help others. So many people have called and texted me.I will meet up with them in a few days. However now by myself. With work slow I find I am having an unusual feeling. I am actually feeling bored. Did not expect this. trying to find things to occupy my time. Going to try volunteer jobs etc.
	Reply With Quote

Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	Jun 05, 2015 at 05:39 PM #14 I was having a bad feeling a while ago. Decided to cut the grass. it went away. Maybe this could help someone in a similar situation
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Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	Jun 08, 2015 at 10:01 AM #16 After trying for a while. I have finally landed a volunteer job.It will help to get out of the house and see and meet people. I am trying to everything I can to re start my life.
	Reply With Quote

Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	Jun 08, 2015 at 07:35 PM #17 Another strange feeling I am having is boredom. I lived in my girlfriends house thursday thru Sunday. I was in my house all of Mon Tues Wed. I never had such feelings of boredom before. Exercise does help. Guess that grief is intensifying these feelings. Anyone else experience this?
	Reply With Quote

jaynedough Legendary Member Since Feb 2010 Location: Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe Posts: 15,306 (SuperPoster!) 14 3,768 hugs given	Jun 08, 2015 at 10:30 PM #18 Is it boredom or being at a loss as to what to do?
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Mike1947 Member Member Since May 2015 Location: Slate Hill NY Posts: 27 9	Jun 09, 2015 at 11:28 AM #20 I have found a video on you tube entitled "How to deal with grief. A radically different way"by Noah Elkrief. This finally explained to me the feelings I am experiencing. This video is outstanding. Different views on grief.
	Reply With Quote