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Old Jun 08, 2015, 10:17 PM
AmyCake AmyCake is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 28
Hi everyone,

i just had a session with my counsellor and i had some thoughts which i thought of sharing.

Some background information abt myself: i was abused as a child when i was young, by family members. growing up in a dysfunctional family certainly hasnt been easy, as my elder sis was a low self-esteem girl who ran away from home, and brother who has history of joining street gangs and violent tendencies even until today. father had negligent parenting style whereas mother was unstable and always venting out her emotional outbursts on us children.

Now that my mother is aging and in her last few years, degenerating health which might leave her another few more years to live..., the topic of grief surfaces.

Grief in the sense that -
i may never have the chance to hear her apologize for these hurts.
my feelings may not get recognized by my estranged family
family did does not realise my hurting self
grief over the loss of a "complete" family that never happened
grief over the loss of a innocent childhood

somehow, it seems, the pain of child abuse, has transformed itself into coming to terms with grief, whereby today, i have to put in lots of effort to heal my emotional self and building a stronger self for one who never had a happy childhood =(

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  #2  
Old Jun 09, 2015, 10:45 AM
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CANDC CANDC is offline
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Hi AmyCake. I am so sorry for the abuse you endured and experienced as a child. No one should have to go through it. But it sounds like you are a survivor and aiming to deal with it. But it is easier with a therapist and guide.

The grief you are talking about is real to me. It was for me letting go of the deeply held hope that my parents would become nurturing people and accept me the way I am. It is very difficult for me to acknowledge that they will not have empathy or a change of heart in their lifetime. For me, those people who accept me have been people at Psych Central.

I too have felt a layer of grief as well as lack of self esteem and trust. Psych Central has many more compassionate people than the world in general, or at least it seems that way to me. It has helped the healing process.

It is surprising how much love I felt when I started trying to be there for other people. You can lose nothing by trying and you just may find that the love you are seeking is here all the while, hiding in the cries of a person looking for compassion and caring.

Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central.
http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.
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