[DelusionsDaily]

So I have been in a partial day program for my bipolar depression. Last week my family celebrated the birth of my brother's second son. I was giddy. This week all I can think about is how my sister is missing all this. She died 25 years ago when I was 9 and brother was 7. I have cried periodically for my sister and truly believe at least in part my sister's death triggered my depressions. I love my sister she is and was the love of my life. Partial has been having me talk about this which is very very difficult. I only very rarely talk about my sister it's too hard. But one social worker really wants you to talk and apparently that's what's on my mind. Ugh!!

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry for your deep emotional pain from the passing of your sister who you love so dearly

We're here to listen, whenever you wish to speak.

[jaynedough]

I'm so sorry for your loss, DD. My brother died when he was 9 and the family never really dealt with it. We rarely mentioned him, and that was wrong. He was a happy, energetic, smart and funny kid and we should have acknowledged the good instead of hanging on to the pain. That happened 45 years ago and there are times I think of things like never knowing his "grown-up" name. We always called him by his nickname. His given name was Robert and I wonder if he'd be a Bob or Rob or Robbie, etc. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been Robert. It's odd the things that trigger these thoughts and feelings. Time lessens the pain, but doesn't always take it all away. And the deathiversary can be so hard. Even after 45 years. Having mental health issues can really make it worse.

Sorry for running on. I guess I mainly want you to know that you are not alone.

Take care.

[waterknob1234]

Hi DelusionsDaily, I am sorry for your hurt and pain. Death anniversaries are hard. My mom passed away almost 6 years ago and I still miss her dearly. She was old and sick and it was her time. But it is still hard. She is the only person who truly loved me unconditionally. It is probably much harder when you lose a sibling during your childhood. My heart goes out to you.

[DelusionsDaily]

Thanks. The anniversary was monday. Its been a rought couple weeks leading up to it and probably at least a couple more rough weeks. Keeping an eye on symptoms to be sure its not turning into a bipolar episode. Ugh!!! But thanks for all the kind words!