[LA-ML]

My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago today, BUT wanted to remain friends. I said okay. Then a week ago today she said that she wanted to work things and I was like okay. Then a week ago on Wednesday she called me up and told me that she wanted nothing to do with me and that I was not to call her at all.
Thing is is that I was not calling her she was calling me. I gave her my old laptop and called and told her staff (she also lives in a group home) that I wanted my laptop back and her staff told me that she also wanted to get it back to me. I told that staff member that I do not know what I did wrong and the staff member said to me that she doesn’t think I did anything wrong.
I am very hurt and sad and actually harmed myself on Saturday. I won’t go into details and I came out fine. I had gone to the hospital around 3am and was home before 12 noon.
Things are crazy in my head. I don’t know how I should feel…I mean she was the first girl that I kissed. AND SHE was the one that asked if she could kiss me…I think that she used me and abused me to get things and now she wants nothing to do with me because I started saying no and that she had to pay me back.
I feel alone and scared. Like I don’t have time to deal with my feelings around her because I have a roommate that is always on my case. My roommate yelled at me this morning saying she knows I am mad at her(WHICH I’m not…Just been avoiding her) and that if I can’t accept that she needs her space then too bad. Yesterday I was either in my room or in the office trying to deal with my feelings because I kept crying at any random moment. And this morning she was rude so I just stayed out of her way. I feel that she is jealous because I am moving out and she is stuck here. She has even said to me “I don’t know how YOU are moving out and I can’t” I almost really wanted to tell her that with her behaviors how is anyone suppose to feel that she can move out. She is always slamming doors and yelling and playing her music WAY to loud.
ME I am terrified to move out but I can not live in this house anymore. ESPCEIALLY with her here. She bullies me and wants everything HER way.
I saw my advocate today and was talking to her about it and she told me her thought is that my roommate needs attention but does not know how to get POSITIVE attention and that she blows up at me cause she knows that I will have a reaction.
Thank you all for being here for me in advance,
LA-ML

[Skeezyks]

Hello LA-ML: I'm sorry you are having this difficulty. From what you wrote, it sounds to me as though perhaps having the opportunity to put some space between you & this girl is a good thing. I hope your move goes well.

[Fredje]

I can relate to your story. A week ago I have written my story here and your post today made me realise that more people have problems with it right now. I don't want to make this thread about me, but read my post under " Survivor of Abuse " and see if you can relate to what I wrote down. She also wanted to remain "friends" but remaining friends with someone you loved, is impossible in the beginning. I always wanted to remain friends with my first real relationship ( 2007 ) but now almost 10 years later I don't want to be friends with her. The saddest thing is that when it comes to relationships humans tend to stick to the nice moments, while when someone had a bad day they stick to the bad moments.

You said:
" She wants everything her way " - I had exactly the same with my ex-gf. Everything had to go her way, or no way at all. She seems like the selfish and jealous type of girl that wants everything her way and that wants everything she wants.
" She used me and abused me " - You need to clarify what you mean with abusing. Abuse can come in many forms and not everyone knows they are abusing. I believe I have been abused psychically by hitting, mentally and emotionally by not allowing me to go wherever I want to go and see who I want to see.

My ex-gf unintentionally had abused me because she never had a normal relationship. That is why the pain in my heart is very big right now, because I truely believe if she wasn't abused we would have a great relationship.

Since you are moving out, why not write all your feelings down in a letter and give it to her the moment you leave the place? I know it's easy for me to say, since I am stuck in this aswell, but you're making your relationship to romantic, which means you loved all the things you did together ( and you focus on this ) but didn't like her behavior. It's difficult beeing stuck with someone you loved deerly and have fond memories of. If she doesn't read the letter, you know she doesn't care about how you feel right now or how you have felt in the past. Clearly, she has other priorities that isn't you. Be truely honest to her, don't be afraid of hurting her since your relationship is already over. I feel you are exactly like me, a nice and loveable young man with all the right intentions, that would be an ideal son-in-law. Getting a relationship is easy, but finding the one you really can be with may take years. You try, you find a rotten one and you understand what you DONT want in life.

[LA-ML]

One thing I think I should say is that I am a girl. The girl I was seeing is not in my group home company. She is in a different company. I have decided that it is her loss no matter how it hurts if she wants to be friends or girlfriends again my answer is going to be no. That I am not going through this again with her.
Thank you for your post and even though you thought I was a guy it's okay...I think if I ever do get married which probably won't happen I would be a good daughter-in-law.
Again, Thank you!

[Fredje]

My appologies for not noticing you were a girl. Either way, what I said applies to you wether you will be a great daughter-in-law and not my mistaken son-in-law In the end for you and me, it is their loss even tough it's hard to accept because you also have feelings. You could still write them down and send this letter to her if you really feel that you need to tell her your story.

Yesterday I made a pro/con list about my relationship with her and I realised that the cons were overwhelming the pros.