[Raindropvampire]

He got outside and either someone poisoned him or he got into poison somewhere. We couldn't let him suffer so I took him in. They made a plaque with his paw print and name. I feel horrible because I just couldn't go back with him when they did it so I feel horribly guilty

[CANDC]

Raindropvampire, awwww that is so sad. Yes seeing them suffer is so difficult. No wonder you could not watch them euthanize them. That might have been too much to ask of yourself. Don't kick yourself for that. That was good self care so this whole thing was not worse than it was already.

[unaluna]

I'm so sorry.

[Unrigged64072835]

So sorry for the loss.

[*Laurie*]

I am so, so sorry.

[bounceback]

I get this, I really do. I put my elderly cat down in 2014 and couldn't go back either. You are not alone. Be kind to yourself. I am so sorry for your loss.

So sorry. You did the right thing.

[Angelique67]

I'm so sorry, RDV. That's so sad. But don't feel bad about not being there when they did it. When my wonderful cat was dying, I went into denial and believed she would recover and live a few more years, so I didn't call the visiting vet. I've had so much guilt over it, and still do.

[Raindropvampire]

Friday I had to put down my brother's cat. We think he had cancer but ran out of money for more testing. All we know is he lost over half his body weight in a few weeks despite eating up to four cans of food a day, he was vomiting blood and had bloody watery stool, wouldn't eat hard food only canned and wouldn't use a litter box. All his blood work came back fine. His urinalysis his stool sample they couldn't find anything. The vet agreed it could be cancer but without more testing couldn't be sure and we just couldn't afford any more tests.

So my brother made the decision to not let him suffer any more but couldn't do it himself so I had to. This time I stayed in the room but now wish I hadn't because I'm still crying off and on. No one even went with me to the appointment and I was a wreck driving home. I hope this is it for losses for a bit. I can't handle much more I just feel brittle.

[*Laurie*]

I am so, so sorry. What you've been through is (in my experience) one of the hardest things to go through in life. May kitty RIP.

[Woodchuck]

It's always OK to NOT be with a pet if you think that being there would upset you or the pet. They know they are loved. Even pets who are unconscious know their owners are visiting (we can see their heart rate increase on the telemetry in the ICU). People sometimes force themselves to be present at a euthanasia but end up upsetting the pet much more if they're sobbing and apologizing. If you can be there, that's great, but if you can't, your pet will definitely not hold it against you.

I've worked in a lot of vet clinics and hospitals and in only one (and it was because of a bad vet who soon moved on) did I see a pet pass away alone. Otherwise, if an owner can't be present, the techs make a point of wrapping the pet in a blanket, talking soothingly to him/her, and telling him/her how loved they are. Their body is treated with dignity and respect throughout.

I have always thought that for animals, death is just the next step. Kind of like when you're on a roller coaster and at the top of that first huge scary hill and it pauses for a second....I always think (and sometimes whisper to the pet), "Here we go, sweetheart, the next part of your journey." <3