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Poohbah
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,302
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Oct 17, 2017 at 10:25 AM
#1
Hi. I don't normally post in this forum, but wanted to reach out for support. Last night I learned that a longtime friend passed away on Saturday. When this shocked and sad feeling lessens, what will take its place? Just shock? Just sadness? I feel like I'm swimming against the current.
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 jaynedough, Persephone518, possum220, Skeezyks, spondiferous
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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Oct 17, 2017 at 03:20 PM
#2
I offer my condolences on your loss.
 I don't know if there's really much I can offer here. In my experience, nothing takes its place when the shock & sad feelings lessen. It all just gradually fades into the background of everyday life & resurfaces periodically in one form or another from time-to-time when something comes up that jogs that particular memory. What's important, I think, is to not try to block or stuff down those memories & feelings, but rather to allow them to arise & fade at their own pace & to accept them with compassion. It's a practice often referred to as compassionate abiding. I wish you well...  
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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| spondiferous
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 Gus1234U, spondiferous
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Dancer in the Dark
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: somewhere, i think.
Posts: 5,330
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Oct 18, 2017 at 01:48 PM
#3
I agree with Skeezyks. My sister died three years ago and it took a concentrated amount of time just for me to be able to get off the couch. Now, sometimes when I think about it, and the reality of her being gone hits me, it literally takes my breath away. Sometimes I cry inconsolably. But most of the time, life is still just life. I just view things differently because I have a better appreciation of the immediacy of life, which in its own hard way is a gift.
wishing you healing.
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,410
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Oct 21, 2017 at 07:03 AM
#4
When a person we care about passes away suddenly there will be shock which will eventually lessen as other emotions rise up. These emotions and their strength will vary. There is no formula with the process of grieving. It takes as long as it takes.
Talking/crying about your friend with others will help you through the process. Even writing things down and getting your thoughts out.
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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