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#1
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Hi. I don't normally post in this forum, but wanted to reach out for support. Last night I learned that a longtime friend passed away on Saturday. When this shocked and sad feeling lessens, what will take its place? Just shock? Just sadness? I feel like I'm swimming against the current.
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jaynedough, Persephone518, possum220, Skeezyks, spondiferous
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#2
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I offer my condolences on your loss. I don't know if there's really much I can offer here. In my experience, nothing takes its place when the shock & sad feelings lessen. It all just gradually fades into the background of everyday life & resurfaces periodically in one form or another from time-to-time when something comes up that jogs that particular memory. What's important, I think, is to not try to block or stuff down those memories & feelings, but rather to allow them to arise & fade at their own pace & to accept them with compassion. It's a practice often referred to as compassionate abiding. I wish you well...
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
spondiferous
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Gus1234U, spondiferous
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#3
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I agree with Skeezyks. My sister died three years ago and it took a concentrated amount of time just for me to be able to get off the couch. Now, sometimes when I think about it, and the reality of her being gone hits me, it literally takes my breath away. Sometimes I cry inconsolably. But most of the time, life is still just life. I just view things differently because I have a better appreciation of the immediacy of life, which in its own hard way is a gift. wishing you healing.
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*Laurie*
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#4
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When a person we care about passes away suddenly there will be shock which will eventually lessen as other emotions rise up. These emotions and their strength will vary. There is no formula with the process of grieving. It takes as long as it takes.
Talking/crying about your friend with others will help you through the process. Even writing things down and getting your thoughts out. |
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