[tryingtobeme]

The person in my life who has been my emotional support lifeline and like a mother to me is dying. My real mother could care less about me and she is the closest thing I've ever had to a mother. She has breast cancer and bone cancer. I'm struggling to deal with loosing my emotional support from her and feel so guilty because she is the one going through all this. I'm really not sure how to feel most of the time. I really want to call her up and just cry and tell her how I'm feeling but I don't want to burden her either. She's dealing with enough.

[CANDC]

Hi tryingtobeme. I am sorry for the loss and grief you feel. I think it is very telling of how much this person means to you. Expressing that to them in a way that emphasizes how much they mean to you and how much they helped you takes the focus off your own sadness and maybe lifts them up in their grief and sorrow.

It is sad that is not your mom but it is wonderful that you found someone that really helps you. It is tough to let go, but why not at least try to help them realize how much they have given others so they can face death knowing how much meaning their life really had.

For your own grief, maybe a grief support group or counselor may be helpful.

If you cannot tell them verbally how you feel you could do a journal or write a letter until you are satisfied that that is what you want to tell them. Then tell them or read them the letter. This is one way to bring joy to someone facing the darkness of death.

[Open Eyes]

If you feel that calling and talking to her might be too hard in that you may get too emotional, send her a card and some flowers. If you can make the card yourself and include different ways this person contributed to your life and happiness, I am sure that would be a huge positive for this woman while she is battling all the challenges with her illness. It's so special when a person learns their existence was a huge plus to another person and they made a difference by being alive and being there.

(((Hugs)))
OE