[Rizzo0320]

My Jim (husband) passed away this past November. We were married for 31 years. He was my love - my life - my everything. Still finding it hard to "do things". People say to me "you are doing so well." What does that mean? On the outside I guess I come across as doing well. On the inside and when I am alone not doing so great. Night time is the hardest.

[peacelizard]

When I've lost loved ones and people have told me that, it's always confused and frustrated me. But I think ultimately some people say stuff like that both because some people don't know what they're supposed to say, but based on social conventions they may feel like they're supposed to say something. That and maybe it's just a difference in personality. What I mean is like people like you and I are people who, no matter what happens or how much we hurt, we keep going because that's just who we are and what else are you supposed to do? Fall apart? How does that do? But some people do.

I am sorry for your loss. I would be lost without my husband

[Deejay14]

So sorry for your loss. I wouldn't know what to do without mine. We had a bout of cancer just this summer which brought this all to the core front for me. Now we are on a five year surveillance program. Please take care of yourself and stay as active as you can. It will help. Try to do something at night to ease the loss even read a good book. Everything is worse at night for me. Depression, illness, it doesn't seem to matter. Things are just worse at night.

[A Hobbit]

I’m so sorry. My heart aches for you.

[TerryL]

i am so sorry for your loss.

[Rizzo0320]

Thank you everyone for the kind words and hugs.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Rizzo0320

My Jim (husband) passed away this past November. We were married for 31 years. He was my love - my life - my everything. Still finding it hard to "do things". People say to me "you are doing so well." What does that mean? On the outside I guess I come across as doing well. On the inside and when I am alone not doing so great. Night time is the hardest.

Yes nighttimes are the hardest. I think too much at night. Sometimes music helps me not get caught up in the emotions. I am listening to this now

I try to find things that I enjoy. Games have always been an outlet for me. https://forums.psychcentral.com/arcade.php

Thank goodness for support groups. Just to be around others that know how complex grief is really is a relief.

[Travelinglady]

I'm so sorry. I know this is weird, but get a big pillow and hug it close to you at night....

[Deejay14]

Riz how ha e the last few days been going for you?

[downandlonely]

Sorry for your loss Rizzo.

[Rizzo0320]

Originally Posted by Deejay14

Riz how ha e the last few days been going for you?

I have good moments and not so good moments. Today was the 9 month mark. I did take a big step and went to a therapist on Monday.

Thank you for asking.

How are you doing?

[Deejay14]

Doing okay. Today all is well. Good for you for taking that step. Do what you need to do for self care.

[88Butterfly88]

[joshua2402]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have just recently had to part with my dog of 12 years and I swear he was my brother, my son, my absolute everything. I loved him so much and he loved me back, and I guess that is what drew us together. My parents never really showed me love and affection growing up, but my dog did and I am forever thankful for that. I miss him so very much it has only been a couple of weeks. Some tips I have for you that I practice is to think in a straight path, if that makes sense. I think “yes, my dog is gone. No matter how much it sucks, I have to move forward. I cannot let this bring me down, but I am going to wholly address and accept my emotions and let them out healthily.” I hope this helps and I am sorry again.