so I've just been told by a friend that she lost someone who she knew for over 5 years

I also knew this person and he was bossy, he was rude, and he spent most of his life putting us down or telling us he was better than us

now she's emailing me.. oh he's gone, I'm so upset, I'm so devistated what do I do- nad part of me is thinking what?. but when he was alive he was a nasty peace of work

how can I show support to her because honestly A- I don't know how she can miss this guy, and B- I certainly don't feel anything

Oh, well that's an easy question.

How good of a friend is she? Does she know you detest the guy?

Since it's email, just respond with the truth and let her deal with it. Don't suppress your true feelings about him. Some people will tell you, don't pick the battle and either don't reply to her email or if you do reply, just answer with a non-answer like "you sound like you really miss him," which is a clever way to deflect your true feelings about the guy while also validating her feelings.

Me? I have been in this situation and when someone told me how they felt, I told them "sorry for your loss, but I thought [so and so] was a real [insert expletive] to me, so I'm probably not the best person to come to with your grief."

If you don't want to stir up any conflict with this friend - depending on how close you two are - then just deflect with a "you sound like you really miss the guy" email, but know that she will interpret that as an invitation to respond probably with another email to you where she gushes on and on about how great a guy she thought he was. Ask yourself, do you really want to open your boundaries up to getting more annoyed?