[atseamedic]

It has been 3mos since my oldest son just didn't wake up. Still don't know why. I find myself feeling more and more alone and empty. I just don't know how to get past this or if I can.

[CANDC]

Hi atseamedic. Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. That must be one of the most difficult losses for a mother to face by herself.

There are no easy answers but you said "I just don't know how to get past this or if I can." so maybe you want to consider professional help to try to find ways to cope. I have found a therapist or grief support group can help me get by the feeling of facing things alone. If you do not think you can do that, you might want to listen to other people that have faced the loss of a child and share there story on youtube YouTube

I am not a professional so I can only offer my own story. For me it started 4 years ago when my dad could no longer be cared for at home and had to go into a nursing home. For two years I traveled 200 miles round trip to see him as often as I could. He slowly went downhill. It was like I already lost him.

Then when he died my hope went out of me. I just did not know what to do. I slowly started doing something to help me get out of the house like yoga, exercises or Tai Chi. I needed to be around people but not to talk just to not be alone so exercising meant we were in same room but we did not have to say anything. I did not tell them I was grieving. I did not want to have to hear their words to reassure me and I did not want to start crying. So I just smiled as best I could and did the exercises.

I joined support groups and realized I was not alone and others were hurting as I was although in different ways. I just had to find something to do every day. Whatever that is it gives me something to look forward to.

Grieving can take a long time. I had to write a lot of notes in my journal to my dad telling them what I wish I had done or things had been different. It helped me get over the shock of the loss. If you check the Grief and Loss forum there are others who are grieving over lost family members too.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

[Skeezyks]

Hello atseamedic: Since this is your first posted thread here on PC, I'd like to also welcome you to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Here's a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of healing from grief & loss. The article provides links to numerous other archived articles on the subject:

Coping with Grief and Loss - Psych Central

And then here are links to 7 articles, also from PC's archives, that are not included in the article I linked you to above. The last article is a quiz you can take to help you determine if you are affected by complicated grief:

What Grief and Loss Looks Like 33 Years Later: Remembering My Mum

Responding to Grief and Coping with Loss: You Can Survive Your Greatest Fears

Healthy Ways to Navigate Your Grief

5 Creative Ideas for Keeping Your Loved One's Memory Alive

https://psychcentral.com/news/2006/1...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bondi...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/grief-quiz/

My best wishes to you...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss

Welcome to PC. I hope you find support and help here. Words can’t possibly convey the pain you must be in. ❤️

[avlady]

Welcome and i can't imagine how bad you must feel, i often worry my son will pass before me.

[88Butterfly88]

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by atseamedic

It has been 3mos since my oldest son just didn't wake up. Still don't know why. I find myself feeling more and more alone and empty. I just don't know how to get past this or if I can.

I am sorry to hear that you lost your son.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Hi atseamedic. Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. That must be one of the most difficult losses for a mother to face by herself.

There are no easy answers but you said "I just don't know how to get past this or if I can." so maybe you want to consider professional help to try to find ways to cope. I have found a therapist or grief support group can help me get by the feeling of facing things alone. If you do not think you can do that, you might want to listen to other people that have faced the loss of a child and share there story on youtube YouTube

I am not a professional so I can only offer my own story. For me it started 4 years ago when my dad could no longer be cared for at home and had to go into a nursing home. For two years I traveled 200 miles round trip to see him as often as I could. He slowly went downhill. It was like I already lost him.

Then when he died my hope went out of me. I just did not know what to do. I slowly started doing something to help me get out of the house like yoga, exercises or Tai Chi. I needed to be around people but not to talk just to not be alone so exercising meant we were in same room but we did not have to say anything. I did not tell them I was grieving. I did not want to have to hear their words to reassure me and I did not want to start crying. So I just smiled as best I could and did the exercises.

I joined support groups and realized I was not alone and others were hurting as I was although in different ways. I just had to find something to do every day. Whatever that is it gives me something to look forward to.

Grieving can take a long time. I had to write a lot of notes in my journal to my dad telling them what I wish I had done or things had been different. It helped me get over the shock of the loss. If you check the Grief and Loss forum there are others who are grieving over lost family members too.

Those are great advice

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by atseamedic

It has been 3mos since my oldest son just didn't wake up. Still don't know why. I find myself feeling more and more alone and empty. I just don't know how to get past this or if I can.

Have you thought about grief quotes? I just recently started doing the quote myself

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello atseamedic: Since this is your first posted thread here on PC, I'd like to also welcome you to PsychCentral! I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Here's a link to an article by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D., from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of healing from grief & loss. The article provides links to numerous other archived articles on the subject:

Coping with Grief and Loss - Psych Central

And then here are links to 7 articles, also from PC's archives, that are not included in the article I linked you to above. The last article is a quiz you can take to help you determine if you are affected by complicated grief:

What Grief and Loss Looks Like 33 Years Later: Remembering My Mum

Responding to Grief and Coping with Loss: You Can Survive Your Greatest Fears

Healthy Ways to Navigate Your Grief

5 Creative Ideas for Keeping Your Loved One's Memory Alive

https://psychcentral.com/news/2006/1...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/bondi...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/grief-quiz/

My best wishes to you...

Those are great advice!

[Open Eyes]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((atseamedic))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[TerryL]

dear atseamedic,

i am so very sorry for your loss. have you heard of 'compassionate friends'? they are a grief support group for people whose children have died. they might have a chapter where you live. here is a wonderful video of theirs titled 'when a child dies'

[Albatross2008]

I'm sorry for your loss. I can sympathize, as I've been there. The same thing happened with my daughter. I don't know how old your son was, but my daughter was two months old, and just didn't wake up.

In my experience, you learn to adjust and go on with your life. Right now it feels like you'll never smile again, although you will. It's going to take time. Only three months ago is still very, very raw.

One thing you won't do is "get over it" or "forget about it." Nor, in my opinion, should you. It's good to hold on to the memory of your child. I lost my daughter 30 years ago, and I don't *want* to forget her. In fact, we still put up a Christmas stocking for her every year.

[waterknob1234]

So sorry for the loss of your son. That is a very difficult burden for a parent to go through. My heart goes out to you.

[Dewskie]

I can somewhat relate to your post. Except I lost my brother almost three months ago. He took his own life and I haven't been myself since.
I wish I could say it get's better or that it will get easier, but then I would be a hypocrite. Not to mention everyone feels and responds differently so who am I to say such words.
It hurts to think of my brother, so I try to remember the good days with him as much as I can.
I am in no position to tell you what to do or suggest anything as it's extremely annoying to me right now, but I will say that I do hope you can find some way of smiling at least once in your day over the good memories of your son.

[Holy Ina]

I am sorry to hear for your lost, at sea. I hope your feeling will get better soon.