[Calla lily12]

My father died 10 years ago on Thanksgiving. I can't seem to get past it. My grief grows years by year. I wish I was with him, even though he hated me.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Are you familiar with the concept of complicated grief? Here are links to 5 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject including a quiz you can take to determine if you may be experiencing complicated grief:

What is Complicated Grief? | Mental Health Awareness

Complicated Grief Requires Attention

Complicated Grief: How to Get Unstuck | Bonding Time

New Insights on Grief Recovery

Grief and Loss Quiz

My best wishes to you...

[Travelinglady]

I'm so sorry, Calla lily. Sounds like you feel you had unfinished business with him, such as getting him to love you.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Calla lily12

My father died 10 years ago on Thanksgiving. I can't seem to get past it. My grief grows years by year. I wish I was with him, even though he hated me.

I am sorry for your loss. Time does not seem to heal the heart. Finding new places to focus on has helped me not dwell on the lacks I felt in the relationship. We were so different. He did the best he could. I guess that might be called letting go of my expectations.

My dad died two years ago and for the first year the grief got worse until I started reinventing who I think I am. I am no longer my father's son. I do not have to try to live up to his expectations anymore or try to get him to understand me. I am a different person now because I keep trying to focus on new things.

The grief and sadness is still there but I have written letters to him telling him I have to move on with my life. It seemed to help me go a step further toward healing.