9 years and still talk about my stepdad.

I lost my stepdad 9 years ago to him drinking alcohol and taking oxycodone together. It was totally unexpected. We knew he was an alcoholic and had an addictive personality. We didn't know he had started taking pills. I'm mentally challenged and lived with my mom and him. After he passed we realized signs we missed. Anyway he played the electric guitar(extremely talented) and anytime I hear music I think of him. I still get sad when I hear music he used to play. I talk about him all the time still. My new stepdad is really understanding, but I feel bad. I think part of the problem is he said more than once that no one would care if he died and we would forget him. I have problems mentally so I feel as if I have to constantly talk about him or I'll forget. Even though it's not true. I know I could never forget him and will always miss him.

There is no timeline for grieving.

Hi deeppurplegirl. I am sorry for the loss of your step dad nine years ago. Grieving is an ongoing process and it is okay to feel pain or not feel pain.

I feel like what your step dad said might induce a person to feel guilt. Forgetting about a person that has died is natural, or at least having a diminishing amount of emotion surrounding their death. I found I did not have to keep opening the wound. It is okay for me to let it heal and not feel guilty.

Here are some articles that may be of interest Coping with Guilt | Psych Central