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#1
Nov 22, 2020, 03:09 PM
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Happened yesterday and was quite a sudden thing. She and my wife's brother separated some time back and contact has been a mess, especially with regards to our nieces and nephews who were put into care due to a drama that a soap opera would be proud of.
Anyway, I never had a problem with her and we were on good talking terms before it all became estranged. We only found out last week she was in palliative care due to cancer. I had been keen to establish contact when we found out if at the very least to show that she was cared about, which she was... but my wife felt it would be a bad idea. I have autism, so perhaps the social context here is just lost on me. I just know I do find it hard when someone who at least at some stage was close passes away... I keep going over memories and conversations I can't have with that person and that a moment was lost in which to at least say goodbye. Guess I needed to write this out somewhere.
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 Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK |
 CalMSW, CANDC, Discombobulated, Fuzzybear, Rohag, Yaowen
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#2
Nov 22, 2020, 03:37 PM
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Dear ToeJam,
Oh, that is so heartbreaking! I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Wish I knew what to say that would help. My heart goes out to you! Sincerely yours, Yao Wen |
 ToeJam
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#3
Nov 22, 2020, 03:55 PM
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I lost my sister in law this year too, under similar circumstances - not having a chance to say goodbye, not really knowing why.
Ya know, we wear our hearts and our weaknesses on our sleeves. Other people may choose to keep them hidden. |
| CalMSW
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| ToeJam
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#4
Nov 22, 2020, 04:28 PM
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It's hard not being able to say goodbye. I'm so sorry
 
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| ToeJam
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#5
Nov 23, 2020, 08:03 PM
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Toejam, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like a difficult situation to start with and SIL passing may make it more confused.
I am not sure what your partner is thinking about. Maybe they fear being drawn into the confusion or that you may get hurt by SIL's possible reply if they are angry. Are there other family members you could reach out to for a second opinion if you should visit SIL? I am here if you wish to pm me or tag me on your reply @CANDC
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Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
| Fuzzybear
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| ToeJam, unaluna
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#6
Nov 23, 2020, 10:10 PM
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Thank you all for your kind replies. With the covid situation, it transpires that only her children will be attending the funeral (max of six gathering, not sure if this applies elsewhere in the world). And rightly so, they deserve to say goodbye to their mother.
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Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK |
| CANDC, unaluna
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#7
Nov 24, 2020, 09:37 PM
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Toejam. Sorry for your loss.
That makes sense in Covid times.
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Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
| ToeJam
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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