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  #1  
Old Oct 23, 2020, 10:15 AM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Hello everyone,

I am grieving because my husband's health has taken a turn for the worse. He can barely walk, and his mental function has declined. He is not as aware of his environment as he used to me. I feel cheated, because he is relatively young - 59 years old. I try not to cry every day. I want to be strong for him and his twin brother. I look forward to getting support and supporting others who are going through a rough time.
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*Beth*, CANDC, Gasplessy, jrae, Open Eyes, possum220, sky457, TerryL, Travelinglady, TunedOut

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  #2  
Old Oct 25, 2020, 05:56 AM
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possum220 possum220 is offline
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I am so sorry that your husband's health has deteriorated to the point where he feels like a different person. It is so hard to deal with this loss despite him being with you. How is his twin dealing with it all? Is he any help to you practically or emotionally?

Are you able to play music that he loves? Maybe that could reach inside of him. Make sure that you are able to have time for self care in all of this.
Hugs from:
CANDC
Thanks for this!
CalMSW
  #3  
Old Oct 25, 2020, 01:20 PM
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Hi @CalMSW . Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry for the loss your feel as your husband's health has suffered.

I am glad you are here to support others. It helps them and I find when I do that it helps me too.

These are links you may find helpful
How to Cope with Tragedy and Loss

Coping with Grief | Psych Central
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Thanks for this!
CalMSW, Travelinglady
  #4  
Old Oct 25, 2020, 10:24 PM
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TerryL TerryL is offline
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I am so sorry about your husband. you must be feeling so stressed and devastated. i know you will take good care of him but as possum220 said, please don't forget to take care of yourself. my thoughts are with you.
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CANDC
Thanks for this!
CalMSW
  #5  
Old Oct 31, 2020, 10:28 AM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
I am so sorry that your husband's health has deteriorated to the point where he feels like a different person. It is so hard to deal with this loss despite him being with you. How is his twin dealing with it all? Is he any help to you practically or emotionally?

Are you able to play music that he loves? Maybe that could reach inside of him. Make sure that you are able to have time for self care in all of this.
Hello Possum,

My husband has some decline, but is much more like his old personality again. My brother-in-law and I were pleasantly surprised his mind became clearer. I haven't played music for him, but his twin plays music frequently. I took time for self-care. However, it was still rough on all three of us.
Hugs from:
CANDC, Open Eyes
Thanks for this!
possum220
  #6  
Old Oct 31, 2020, 10:30 AM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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I am so sorry about your husband. you must be feeling so stressed and devastated. i know you will take good care of him but as possum220 said, please don't forget to take care of yourself. my thoughts are with you.
Hello Terry,

Thanks for thinking of me. I took some time for self-care. However, I suppressed lots of tears. He is much better now. The three of us were surprised he pretty much got his old personality back. What a relief!
Hugs from:
CANDC, Open Eyes, TerryL
Thanks for this!
TerryL
  #7  
Old Oct 31, 2020, 04:29 PM
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Glad he's doing better.
Thanks for this!
CalMSW
  #8  
Old Nov 01, 2020, 02:22 AM
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you didnt say what caused this and what made it better. i am facing the same problem w my ex, who i look after.
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  #9  
Old Nov 01, 2020, 08:59 AM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
you didnt say what caused this and what made it better. i am facing the same problem w my ex, who i look after.
Hello Luvyrself,

I don't know what caused my hubby to have sudden memory loss, and I also don't know how he improved so suddenly. We have an appointment with the neurologist this Thursday. Hopefully, the doctor can provide some answers.

I empathize. It's hard to deal with someone whose personality changes due to loss of memory. You're in my prayers.
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Travelinglady
Thanks for this!
Travelinglady
  #10  
Old Nov 01, 2020, 02:13 PM
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Cal, I hope the news will be good. Could he have had a ministroke or such?
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CalMSW
  #11  
Old Nov 01, 2020, 05:20 PM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Cal, I hope the news will be good. Could he have had a ministroke or such?
Maybe he did. I should know more after he sees the neurologist.
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Travelinglady
  #12  
Old Nov 01, 2020, 11:02 PM
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TerryL TerryL is offline
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oh what good news that your husband is better! what a relief for you all. i hope his doctors can figure out what happened. may his health continue to improve.
Thanks for this!
CalMSW, CANDC
  #13  
Old Nov 04, 2020, 07:15 PM
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possum220 possum220 is offline
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I am so glad that he came back to you. Sometimes a simple bladder infection can cause massive changes. I hope you can get some more answers after seeing the neurosurgeon.
Thanks for this!
CalMSW, Rose76, Travelinglady
  #14  
Old Nov 07, 2020, 07:58 PM
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I'm glad to hear he's going to be checked out.
Thanks for this!
CalMSW
  #15  
Old Nov 08, 2020, 10:25 AM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Hello everyone,

Thanks for thinking and praying for me and Bob. Bob was checked by the neurologist, who insisted on only handling one problem at a time. He's been taking medication for his throbbing headaches. The doctor thinks it's due to Bob having a stiff neck. He often has problems with his neck. He goes back to the doctor in 1 1/2 weeks.
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CANDC, Travelinglady
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Travelinglady
  #16  
Old Nov 08, 2020, 11:28 AM
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I'm praying for you and your husband. I hope he improves.
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CalMSW, Travelinglady
  #17  
Old Nov 11, 2020, 05:30 AM
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possum220 possum220 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMSW View Post
Hello everyone,

Thanks for thinking and praying for me and Bob. Bob was checked by the neurologist, who insisted on only handling one problem at a time. He's been taking medication for his throbbing headaches. The doctor thinks it's due to Bob having a stiff neck. He often has problems with his neck. He goes back to the doctor in 1 1/2 weeks.

Sounds like a good start without muddying the waters with too much distortion. Has Bob been sent some place to have his neck/muscles worked on? I will be thinking of you both.
Thanks for this!
CalMSW
  #18  
Old Nov 11, 2020, 10:41 AM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
Sounds like a good start without muddying the waters with too much distortion. Has Bob been sent some place to have his neck/muscles worked on? I will be thinking of you both.
Thanks for asking. No, he hasn't received professional help for his neck. He also has stiff shoulders.
Hugs from:
possum220, Travelinglady
Thanks for this!
Travelinglady
  #19  
Old Nov 11, 2020, 06:22 PM
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I'm being sent to a physical therapist by a neurologist for my back issues. I'm hoping that will help and maybe it could help your hubby, too, dear one.
Hugs from:
CalMSW
Thanks for this!
CalMSW, possum220
  #20  
Old Dec 09, 2020, 05:53 PM
CalMSW CalMSW is offline
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Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
Sounds like a good start without muddying the waters with too much distortion. Has Bob been sent some place to have his neck/muscles worked on? I will be thinking of you both.
Hello everyone,

Thank you for your hugs. My hubby's doing much better now. It's a miracle. He can do many things independently and even do some things for me like making sure I have ice for my soda pop. We talked about how he wanted things back to normal. He walks normally and can do normal things.
Hugs from:
Rose76, TerryL, Travelinglady
Thanks for this!
CANDC, Rose76, TerryL, Travelinglady
  #21  
Old Dec 09, 2020, 06:37 PM
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Wonderful news, CalMSW!
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CalMSW, CANDC
  #22  
Old Dec 10, 2020, 12:55 AM
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TerryL TerryL is offline
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so happy your hubby is better! may he continue to improve!
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Thanks for this!
CalMSW, CANDC
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