Husband in decline

CalMSW · Oct 23, 2020 at 10:15 AM

Hello everyone,

I am grieving because my husband's health has taken a turn for the worse. He can barely walk, and his mental function has declined. He is not as aware of his environment as he used to me. I feel cheated, because he is relatively young - 59 years old. I try not to cry every day. I want to be strong for him and his twin brother. I look forward to getting support and supporting others who are going through a rough time.

possum220 · Oct 25, 2020 at 05:56 AM

I am so sorry that your husband's health has deteriorated to the point where he feels like a different person. It is so hard to deal with this loss despite him being with you. How is his twin dealing with it all? Is he any help to you practically or emotionally?

Are you able to play music that he loves? Maybe that could reach inside of him. Make sure that you are able to have time for self care in all of this.

CANDC · Oct 25, 2020 at 01:20 PM

Hi @CalMSW . Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry for the loss your feel as your husband's health has suffered.

I am glad you are here to support others. It helps them and I find when I do that it helps me too.

These are links you may find helpful
How to Cope with Tragedy and Loss

Coping with Grief | Psych Central

TerryL · Oct 25, 2020 at 10:24 PM

I am so sorry about your husband. you must be feeling so stressed and devastated. i know you will take good care of him but as possum220 said, please don't forget to take care of yourself. my thoughts are with you.

CalMSW · Oct 31, 2020 at 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by possum220

I am so sorry that your husband's health has deteriorated to the point where he feels like a different person. It is so hard to deal with this loss despite him being with you. How is his twin dealing with it all? Is he any help to you practically or emotionally?

Are you able to play music that he loves? Maybe that could reach inside of him. Make sure that you are able to have time for self care in all of this.

Hello Possum,

My husband has some decline, but is much more like his old personality again. My brother-in-law and I were pleasantly surprised his mind became clearer. I haven't played music for him, but his twin plays music frequently. I took time for self-care. However, it was still rough on all three of us.

CalMSW · Oct 31, 2020 at 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TerryL

I am so sorry about your husband. you must be feeling so stressed and devastated. i know you will take good care of him but as possum220 said, please don't forget to take care of yourself. my thoughts are with you.

Hello Terry,

Thanks for thinking of me. I took some time for self-care. However, I suppressed lots of tears. He is much better now. The three of us were surprised he pretty much got his old personality back. What a relief!

Travelinglady · Oct 31, 2020 at 04:29 PM

Glad he's doing better.

luvyrself · Nov 01, 2020 at 02:22 AM

you didnt say what caused this and what made it better. i am facing the same problem w my ex, who i look after.

CalMSW · Nov 01, 2020 at 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvyrself

you didnt say what caused this and what made it better. i am facing the same problem w my ex, who i look after.

Hello Luvyrself,

I don't know what caused my hubby to have sudden memory loss, and I also don't know how he improved so suddenly. We have an appointment with the neurologist this Thursday. Hopefully, the doctor can provide some answers.

I empathize. It's hard to deal with someone whose personality changes due to loss of memory. You're in my prayers.

Travelinglady · Nov 01, 2020 at 02:13 PM

Cal, I hope the news will be good. Could he have had a ministroke or such?

CalMSW · Nov 01, 2020 at 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Cal, I hope the news will be good. Could he have had a ministroke or such?

Maybe he did. I should know more after he sees the neurologist.

TerryL · Nov 01, 2020 at 11:02 PM

oh what good news that your husband is better! what a relief for you all. i hope his doctors can figure out what happened. may his health continue to improve.

possum220 · Nov 04, 2020 at 07:15 PM

I am so glad that he came back to you.

Sometimes a simple bladder infection can cause massive changes. I hope you can get some more answers after seeing the neurosurgeon.

Travelinglady · Nov 07, 2020 at 07:58 PM

I'm glad to hear he's going to be checked out.

CalMSW · Nov 08, 2020 at 10:25 AM

Hello everyone,

Thanks for thinking and praying for me and Bob. Bob was checked by the neurologist, who insisted on only handling one problem at a time. He's been taking medication for his throbbing headaches. The doctor thinks it's due to Bob having a stiff neck. He often has problems with his neck. He goes back to the doctor in 1 1/2 weeks.

Teddy Bear · Nov 08, 2020 at 11:28 AM

I'm praying for you and your husband. I hope he improves.

possum220 · Nov 11, 2020 at 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalMSW

Hello everyone,

Thanks for thinking and praying for me and Bob. Bob was checked by the neurologist, who insisted on only handling one problem at a time. He's been taking medication for his throbbing headaches. The doctor thinks it's due to Bob having a stiff neck. He often has problems with his neck. He goes back to the doctor in 1 1/2 weeks.

Sounds like a good start without muddying the waters with too much distortion. Has Bob been sent some place to have his neck/muscles worked on? I will be thinking of you both.

CalMSW · Nov 11, 2020 at 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by possum220

Sounds like a good start without muddying the waters with too much distortion. Has Bob been sent some place to have his neck/muscles worked on? I will be thinking of you both.

Thanks for asking. No, he hasn't received professional help for his neck. He also has stiff shoulders.

Travelinglady · Nov 11, 2020 at 06:22 PM

I'm being sent to a physical therapist by a neurologist for my back issues. I'm hoping that will help and maybe it could help your hubby, too, dear one.

CalMSW · Dec 09, 2020 at 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by possum220

Sounds like a good start without muddying the waters with too much distortion. Has Bob been sent some place to have his neck/muscles worked on? I will be thinking of you both.

Hello everyone,

Thank you for your hugs. My hubby's doing much better now. It's a miracle. He can do many things independently and even do some things for me like making sure I have ice for my soda pop. We talked about how he wanted things back to normal. He walks normally and can do normal things.

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TerryL Poohbah Member Since Jul 2011 Location: usa Posts: 1,490 13 1,308 hugs given	Oct 25, 2020 at 10:24 PM #4 I am so sorry about your husband. you must be feeling so stressed and devastated. i know you will take good care of him but as possum220 said, please don't forget to take care of yourself. my thoughts are with you.
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 49,172 (SuperPoster!) 14 23.3k hugs given	Oct 31, 2020 at 04:29 PM #7 Glad he's doing better.
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 49,172 (SuperPoster!) 14 23.3k hugs given	Nov 01, 2020 at 02:13 PM #10 Cal, I hope the news will be good. Could he have had a ministroke or such?
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TerryL Poohbah Member Since Jul 2011 Location: usa Posts: 1,490 13 1,308 hugs given	Nov 01, 2020 at 11:02 PM #12 oh what good news that your husband is better! what a relief for you all. i hope his doctors can figure out what happened. may his health continue to improve.
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possum220 Legendary Member Since Jan 2009 Location: Uppa Gumtree West Posts: 19,416 (SuperPoster!) 15 8,001 hugs given	Nov 04, 2020 at 07:15 PM #13 I am so glad that he came back to you. Sometimes a simple bladder infection can cause massive changes. I hope you can get some more answers after seeing the neurosurgeon.
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 49,172 (SuperPoster!) 14 23.3k hugs given	Nov 07, 2020 at 07:58 PM #14 I'm glad to hear he's going to be checked out.
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CalMSW Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: Hemet, CA Posts: 43 9 76 hugs given	Nov 08, 2020 at 10:25 AM #15 Hello everyone, Thanks for thinking and praying for me and Bob. Bob was checked by the neurologist, who insisted on only handling one problem at a time. He's been taking medication for his throbbing headaches. The doctor thinks it's due to Bob having a stiff neck. He often has problems with his neck. He goes back to the doctor in 1 1/2 weeks.
	Reply With Quote

Teddy Bear Poohbah Member Since Nov 2015 Location: Dresser Wisconsin Posts: 1,230 8 1,026 hugs given	Nov 08, 2020 at 11:28 AM #16 I'm praying for you and your husband. I hope he improves. __________________ 🐻
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 49,172 (SuperPoster!) 14 23.3k hugs given	Nov 11, 2020 at 06:22 PM #19 I'm being sent to a physical therapist by a neurologist for my back issues. I'm hoping that will help and maybe it could help your hubby, too, dear one.
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