afterwards...

jrae · 11-20-2020, 06:20 AM

after some rather tough losses the past 2 1/2+ years, it seems like 'the holidays' are almost dead to me now! it's like i don't want to be around anyone on a holiday -> the loss-pain is too much still yet.

but it's not like you can exactly say that to someone... 'um yeah, thanks for inviting me over but holidays are dead to me now - sorry'!

Yaowen · 11-20-2020, 12:08 PM

Dear jrae,

I can definitely identify with that.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

BethRags · 11-21-2020, 04:32 PM

I, too, identify. I don't have much of a solution; I have decided to do the best I can for the holidays, which is watch some movies and documentaries that interest me. I'll put some pretty lights up.

CANDC · 11-22-2020, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrae

after some rather tough losses the past 2 1/2+ years, it seems like 'the holidays' are almost dead to me now! it's like i don't want to be around anyone on a holiday -> the loss-pain is too much still yet.

but it's not like you can exactly say that to someone... 'um yeah, thanks for inviting me over but holidays are dead to me now - sorry'!

If I get an invite and do not feel up to it, I find that telling people I am not feeling comfortable going out because of Covid is something most people understand even if they do not feel the same.

jrae · 11-26-2020, 04:36 AM

it hit me especially hard when i realized that one of those lost-people's birthdays fell on one of the holidays itself!!

it like crushed me to a whole new level!
and since i'm still not able to talk about this person yet with people IRL, it made it so much easier to just be alone on that day....

jrae · 11-26-2020, 04:51 AM

@Yaowen and @BethRags ,

thank you very much! and my thoughts & hugs to you as well!!

CalMSW · 11-26-2020, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CANDC

If I get an invite and do not feel up to it, I find that telling people I am not feeling comfortable going out because of Covid is something most people understand even if they do not feel the same.

If I didn't feel like celebrating, I would prefer to be honest and say I don't feel like celebrating due to recent deaths in my family or something like that. My husband and brother-in-law didn't feel like celebrating their birthdays for a couple of years, because their mom died a few days before their birthdays in 2018. I respected their wishes, and we had quiet birthday celebrations.

jrae · 12-01-2020, 01:11 AM

the only 'decent' sounding thing i could come up with was: won't be over - am just not up for it.

my family is not as kind and understanding as others

11-20-2020, 06:20 AM	#1
jrae Veteran Member jrae doesn't understand this messed up world..... Member Since: Jun 2008 Location: WYLTK Posts: 676 331 hugs given	afterwards... after some rather tough losses the past 2 1/2+ years, it seems like 'the holidays' are almost dead to me now! it's like i don't want to be around anyone on a holiday -> the loss-pain is too much still yet. but it's not like you can exactly say that to someone... 'um yeah, thanks for inviting me over but holidays are dead to me now - sorry'!
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11-20-2020, 12:08 PM	#2
Yaowen Grand Poohbah Yaowen has no updates. Member Since: Jan 2020 Location: USA Posts: 1,858 (SuperPoster!) 3,245 hugs given	Re: afterwards... Dear jrae, I can definitely identify with that. Sincerely yours, Yao Wen
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11-21-2020, 04:32 PM	#3
BethRags ~remember to breathe~ BethRags is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit. Member Since: Jul 2019 Location: Downtown California Posts: 6,655 (SuperPoster!) 7,802 hugs given	Re: afterwards... I, too, identify. I don't have much of a solution; I have decided to do the best I can for the holidays, which is watch some movies and documentaries that interest me. I'll put some pretty lights up. __________________ -Beth And the wind did howl and the wind did moan La la la la la La la la la lee A little bird lit down on Henry Lee -Nick Cave & P.J. Harvey
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11-26-2020, 04:36 AM	#5
jrae Veteran Member jrae doesn't understand this messed up world..... Member Since: Jun 2008 Location: WYLTK Posts: 676 331 hugs given	re: Re: afterwards... it hit me especially hard when i realized that one of those lost-people's birthdays fell on one of the holidays itself!! it like crushed me to a whole new level! and since i'm still not able to talk about this person yet with people IRL, it made it so much easier to just be alone on that day....
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11-26-2020, 04:51 AM	#6
jrae Veteran Member jrae doesn't understand this messed up world..... Member Since: Jun 2008 Location: WYLTK Posts: 676 331 hugs given	reply: Re: afterwards... @Yaowen and @BethRags , thank you very much! and my thoughts & hugs to you as well!!
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afterwards...

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12-01-2020, 01:11 AM	#8
jrae Veteran Member jrae doesn't understand this messed up world..... Member Since: Jun 2008 Location: WYLTK Posts: 676 331 hugs given	re: Re: afterwards... the only 'decent' sounding thing i could come up with was: won't be over - am just not up for it. my family is not as kind and understanding as others
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