afterwards...

after some rather tough losses the past 2 1/2+ years, it seems like 'the holidays' are almost dead to me now! it's like i don't want to be around anyone on a holiday -> the loss-pain is too much still yet.

but it's not like you can exactly say that to someone... 'um yeah, thanks for inviting me over but holidays are dead to me now - sorry'!

Dear jrae,

I can definitely identify with that.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

I, too, identify. I don't have much of a solution; I have decided to do the best I can for the holidays, which is watch some movies and documentaries that interest me. I'll put some pretty lights up.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jrae after some rather tough losses the past 2 1/2+ years, it seems like 'the holidays' are almost dead to me now! it's like i don't want to be around anyone on a holiday -> the loss-pain is too much still yet. but it's not like you can exactly say that to someone... 'um yeah, thanks for inviting me over but holidays are dead to me now - sorry'!

If I get an invite and do not feel up to it, I find that telling people I am not feeling comfortable going out because of Covid is something most people understand even if they do not feel the same.

it hit me especially hard when i realized that one of those lost-people's birthdays fell on one of the holidays itself!! it like crushed me to a whole new level!
and since i'm still not able to talk about this person yet with people IRL, it made it so much easier to just be alone on that day....

@Yaowen and @BethRags ,

thank you very much! and my thoughts & hugs to you as well!!

If I didn't feel like celebrating, I would prefer to be honest and say I don't feel like celebrating due to recent deaths in my family or something like that. My husband and brother-in-law didn't feel like celebrating their birthdays for a couple of years, because their mom died a few days before their birthdays in 2018. I respected their wishes, and we had quiet birthday celebrations.

the only 'decent' sounding thing i could come up with was: won't be over - am just not up for it.

my family is not as kind and understanding as others