An old friend ended their life.

Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and haven’t seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that.

Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, I’ve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like I’m going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like I’m making it about me and that I’m over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide).

I have exams in a couple of weeks and I’ve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university.

Should I try talking about it to friends and family?

If you feel talking about it with others would help you, it’s probably a good idea. I’m very sorry about your friend, what you’re feeling right now is valid and a natural reaction to such news - I wouldn’t think of having the big feelings you might not know what to do with as an exaggeration, because you cared about these people

My condolences on both of your losses. You asked if you should talk with family and friends about your losses. My personal, non-professional opinion is that you should definitely talk with someone about both of these losses and what you're now experiencing. However my thinking is that talking with a counselor or mental health therapist would be the better way to go rather than to try talking with family and friends.

My own personal experience, with these types of situations, has been that while family and friends may be well-meaning, they really don't know what to say or how to provide appropriate support, and besides they have their own problems and concerns. So they're not really interested in hearing about someone else's. Of course, if you have a family member or friend you feel will be willing to take the time to listen and provide support, certainly talking with them may be fine. As I wrote, above, I do think it's important to talk to someone. My best wishes to you.

So, so, so sorry for your loss. Yes, do talk to someone. HUGS Kit

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeXoXO Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and haven’t seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that. Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, I’ve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like I’m going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like I’m making it about me and that I’m over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide). I have exams in a couple of weeks and I’ve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university. Should I try talking about it to friends and family?

Personally, I would stop talking about it and even writing about it. Just put it in a safe place and lock the door to that place in your mind. You can deal with that after exams.

If I keep refocusing from the thoughts and emotions to the breathing or the senses then I can really focus when I need to.

This short video may be of interest

@CANDC

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeXoXO Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and haven’t seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that. Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, I’ve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like I’m going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like I’m making it about me and that I’m over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide). I have exams in a couple of weeks and I’ve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university. Should I try talking about it to friends and family?

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is rough to face something like that. Grief can be postponed until we are able to process it.

Personally, I would stop talking about it and even writing about it. Just put it in a safe place and lock the door to that place in your mind. You can deal with that after exams.

If I keep refocusing from the thoughts and emotions to the breathing or the senses then I can really focus when I need to.

This short video may be of interest

@CANDC

Hi MeXoXO.

Something like this is hard to process and it can trigger the ptsd to re-experience a feeling of powerlessness. And you must have cared about this person which does make it personal.

Instead of picturing disturbing things commit to seeing this person at peace. This is how you gain some power over the helplessness you feel. It’s ok to feel sad and grieve to a point where you accept this loss. (((Hugs)))

Please go to the Alliance of hope online. Like many mental illness suicide is hard to relate to unless you’ve been affected by it. It is the best resource out there in my opinion Sensitive and empathetic friends and family will listen but don’t realize how this type of passing is incredibly complex.
I’d love to hear back from you and how you are feeling. I lost an amazing friend 3 weeks ago. I’m reeling and a million different simultaneous emotions.
You have to follow your heart with your healing process.

This is all normal to grief. I lost my brother in law to suicide.

I'm so sorry for your loss

I wished that I could give you a big 🫂