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Old 06-06-2021, 05:21 PM   #1
MeXoXO
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Default An old friend ended their life.

Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and havenít seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that.

Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, Iíve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like Iím going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like Iím making it about me and that Iím over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide).

I have exams in a couple of weeks and Iíve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university.

Should I try talking about it to friends and family?
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Old 06-06-2021, 06:15 PM   #2
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

If you feel talking about it with others would help you, itís probably a good idea. Iím very sorry about your friend, what youíre feeling right now is valid and a natural reaction to such news - I wouldnít think of having the big feelings you might not know what to do with as an exaggeration, because you cared about these people
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Old 06-07-2021, 12:58 PM   #3
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My condolences on both of your losses. You asked if you should talk with family and friends about your losses. My personal, non-professional opinion is that you should definitely talk with someone about both of these losses and what you're now experiencing. However my thinking is that talking with a counselor or mental health therapist would be the better way to go rather than to try talking with family and friends.

My own personal experience, with these types of situations, has been that while family and friends may be well-meaning, they really don't know what to say or how to provide appropriate support, and besides they have their own problems and concerns. So they're not really interested in hearing about someone else's. Of course, if you have a family member or friend you feel will be willing to take the time to listen and provide support, certainly talking with them may be fine. As I wrote, above, I do think it's important to talk to someone. My best wishes to you.
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Old 06-07-2021, 02:11 PM   #4
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

So, so, so sorry for your loss. Yes, do talk to someone. HUGS Kit
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Old 06-07-2021, 03:57 PM   #5
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeXoXO View Post
Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and havenít seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that.

Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, Iíve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like Iím going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like Iím making it about me and that Iím over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide).

I have exams in a couple of weeks and Iíve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university.

Should I try talking about it to friends and family?
Personally, I would stop talking about it and even writing about it. Just put it in a safe place and lock the door to that place in your mind. You can deal with that after exams.

If I keep refocusing from the thoughts and emotions to the breathing or the senses then I can really focus when I need to.

This short video may be of interest Follow your breath not your thoughts - YouTube

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Old 06-07-2021, 03:58 PM   #6
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeXoXO View Post
Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and havenít seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that.

Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, Iíve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like Iím going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like Iím making it about me and that Iím over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide).

I have exams in a couple of weeks and Iíve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university.

Should I try talking about it to friends and family?
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. It is rough to face something like that. Grief can be postponed until we are able to process it.

Personally, I would stop talking about it and even writing about it. Just put it in a safe place and lock the door to that place in your mind. You can deal with that after exams.

If I keep refocusing from the thoughts and emotions to the breathing or the senses then I can really focus when I need to.

This short video may be of interest Follow your breath not your thoughts - YouTube

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Old 06-08-2021, 12:59 PM   #7
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

Hi MeXoXO.

Something like this is hard to process and it can trigger the ptsd to re-experience a feeling of powerlessness. And you must have cared about this person which does make it personal.

Instead of picturing disturbing things commit to seeing this person at peace. This is how you gain some power over the helplessness you feel. Itís ok to feel sad and grieve to a point where you accept this loss. (((Hugs)))
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Old 06-18-2021, 11:18 AM   #8
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

Please go to the Alliance of hope online. Like many mental illness suicide is hard to relate to unless youíve been affected by it. It is the best resource out there in my opinion Sensitive and empathetic friends and family will listen but donít realize how this type of passing is incredibly complex.
Iíd love to hear back from you and how you are feeling. I lost an amazing friend 3 weeks ago. Iím reeling and a million different simultaneous emotions.
You have to follow your heart with your healing process.
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Old 06-24-2021, 08:43 PM   #9
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeXoXO View Post
Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and havenít seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that.

Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, Iíve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like Iím going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like Iím making it about me and that Iím over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide).

I have exams in a couple of weeks and Iíve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university.

Should I try talking about it to friends and family?
This is all normal to grief. I lost my brother in law to suicide.
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Old 07-08-2021, 07:29 PM   #10
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeXoXO View Post
Hi everyone, so about 3 years ago I was admitted to a psych ward and I made some friends. Then I got discharged and havenít seen them since but I have kept contact with one of them who stayed in the psych ward until her passing. She made me a drawing before I left and I have kept that.

Last week I was made aware of her death and I was shocked and I started feeling numb. Over the last week, Iíve been emotional and I can barely talk about it. I feel like Iím going crazy I get these intrusive thoughts and pictures of her dead body and it is distressing. But I just carry on with my routine unless I start crying. I also feel like Iím making it about me and that Iím over exaggerating ( I felt the same last year when someone else I knew committed suicide).

I have exams in a couple of weeks and Iíve got a really important summer ahead as I will be applying to university.

Should I try talking about it to friends and family?
I'm so sorry for your loss
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Old 07-11-2021, 02:32 PM   #11
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Default Re: An old friend ended their life.

I wished that I could give you a big 🫂
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