[otroo]

My wife died two months ago yesterday. I am still so depressed

Possible trigger:

and I am also suicidal

and have been ignoring my body. I have lost 40 pound since she died. I just started eating regularly this week after I got sick for like the 3rd time in since she died but this last time I did not go into the er cause I was able to get it at home with some of my prescription meds. I am also going to have to get off of Social Security but she had life insurance that they want to take.
I honestly don't know what to do with my life. These last couple of years have been pretty rough my sister died of cancer in 2020

Possible trigger:

and my brother was also murdered in 2020

. It also looks like I am going to have to put one of my dogs down.

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[CANDC]

hI @otroo - oh no, you have been so through much. It must be difficult just getting out of bed in the morning.

When I lost someone near and dear to me, what I found helped is to start building a routine. I started with 5 minute Tai Chi on youtube and then doing the dishes after meals. Sometimes I put on some music or a favorite program and listen to it while I do the dishes.

I felt like I was having to start all over again. So no one was going to do it for me, so I started recreating a life for myself based on the new reality I faced. I tried to focus on what I was grateful for from the relationship I once had and pack that in my suitcase so to speak. I seemed to leave out some of the sad feelings the further I got into this recreation process. It has taken me years but I keep seeing incremental change day by day.

I started doing creative things, I started volunteering online, I started things I never thought I was capable of doing. I had nothing to lose by trying.

Hope you get the support you are looking for.

[Skeezyks]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I see it's been a few days now since you posted this. Hopefully you've been able to maintain and perhaps even begin putting your life back together. My best wishes to you...

[TerryL]

i am so very sorry for all your losses. how absolutely heartbreaking for you. grief is such a painful journey. in case this might help, i have found that when times were really tough that saying out loud how i felt somehow eased the pain a little.. i hope you will consider trying that. my thoughts are with you.

[downandlonely]

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I can't even imagine.

Have you tried a grief support group? They are usually free, and I find it helps a lot talking to people in similar situations.

We're also here to listen.

[sarahsweets]

Have you tried a grief support Group, meeting, or forum,? They do zoom stuff for in person sometimes these sites are overseen by experts and some it’s just like normal people. And mini sessions for exact circumstances surrounding agree. if you haven’t talked about it, and you haven’t cried over it you won’t get past it.

[otroo]

Thank you all for your support. My daughter and I start a program next week called Grief Share and I learned of this group from here on the forums. I have .ost 60 pounds since November but I have now started to eat on a regular basis. I just wish I would stop getting a sour stomach all the time. I go in for blood work in the am and I have a doctor's appointment next week so maybe my doc can help with the nausea I am already on some stomach medications but they are not helping me out to good.

Thanks again everyone I appreciate the support I am getting.

[Open Eyes]

You have had so many back to back losses that you may be experiencing post traumatic stress. Joining a grief counseling group will be helpful when it comes to slowly processing all that loss.

(((Hugs))).

[craftyone]

otroo I understand how you feel. I lost my husband earlier this month. I still can't believe he's gone. I too have lost weight because of it. I also agree with CANDC, routines do help. I am still having difficulty with eating regular meals, but having a routine helps. I still work and have wonderful friends at work that are there for me if I need to talk. Talking with people about how you are feeling can be very helpful. I do hope you have some family or friends you can lean on. I have some wonderful friends who check in with me to see how I am doing. I also try to get out of the house occasionally and see them in person. I believe it has helped me. Please reach out to someone, anyone, and let them know how you feel. Grief counseling may be a place to start. I am so sorry for all the losses you have experienced. I hope you find the healing energies you need to get you through this difficult time.

[CANDC]

Hi @otroo sorry for the loss of your wife. That must be rough to go through but hope your daughter is some solace to you.

You mentioned the Grief program you were going into. How is that working out for you? @CANDC