[ZenZeta]

Two years ago, at 2:55 PM, my father gained his wings.

Our relationship was complicated (terribly codependent). I loved him and resented him at the same time. I grew to cherish the sweet, frail man he became with age, but never forgot the man who's thunderous roar could take the roof off the house.

I hated the dementia that took him from me mentally long before his body followed suit, but now miss the challenges that came with caring for someone who no longer knew my name.

For six years I fed, clothed, bathed and took care of that man until he left us. Now I cry for the times I got frustrated and wondered "why me" and long for the days where he would feed broccoli to the dog again...

Today hurts. I miss my Daddy.

[Yaowen]

So sorry about your loss. Wish I knew what to say to comfort you. I have ambivalent feelings about my father and this really complicates the grief I experience over his loss many years ago. Life can be so tragically complicated. My heart goes out to you!

[CANDC]

Oh @ZenZeta that sounds like you are so sad. I hope you do not blame yourself. You did an incredible job taking care of him. Most people do not tough it out like you did. You did an amazing caring for him.

I found my grief with the loss of my dad 6 years ago went a lot deeper than I imagined. I did not realize it in time but he was the one that kept the peace and kept things from getting out of control. He dealt with my mother which was not easy.

In the end, I had to say to myself I did the best I could. We were not close emotionally and I always felt that I could not get close to him because he had up a big wall to reinforce his toughness.

I had to reinvent my life because I placed a lot of expectation that I would find a way to get through that wall. I did a little bit but he was always a lot closer to my sister.

Hope you get the support you are looking for. I found support groups and Facebook groups for grief helped me share my story and see that so many people are grieving. I am not alone and neither are you. @CANDC

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS ZenZeta I'm so sorry you are hurting!