[CANDC]

Hi everyone. In the US, today is celebrated as Father's Day to commemorate our fathers. Wishing all you who are fathers a special day of recognition of the role you play in your children's lives and or everyone you come in contact with.

I lost my dad 6 years ago. That was a wake up call for me. No more time to quibble over our differences. I had to stop playing the blame game. That was all over. Then through the tears and grief I started feeling gratitude for the tiny things they gave to me and I overlooked (and the big things too). I had to start seeing myself as a nurturer of the next generation rather than a child of my father.

To those who have fathers who you do not see eye to eye with, may you find some small way of recognizing the smallest things they contributed to your survival and upbringing.

Happy Fathers day to you.

[Yaowen]

I wasn't really raised to appreciate things and I don't think my parents were either. So being extremely judgmental and dissatisfied became my default frame of mind.

As a teenager and going through all the brain changes that go with that, it was like my judgmental mind went into overdrive. It was pretty late in life that I developed an appreciative side to balance my critical side.

Put two very judgmental people together and you get some idea of how my relationship with my father was. I blamed my father for many things and even for my depression although a head injury following a bicycle accident might have been the cause of my chronic low mood.

It wasn't until I was educated in cognitive psychology that I was able to get some distance from myself and see the good points about my father. Sadly he had already passed by that time. Now I have a more realistic picture of my father. I often dream of him.

[CANDC]

@Yaowen I hear you. It sounds like you have had some form of closure.

I keep asking: why did I learn appreciation so late in life? I could have appreciated my grandmother and father more while they were alive.

One answer I get is to shower the next generation and the one after with appreciation. I am sad I only started waking up when dad was really sick but I did express what I could to him, not knowing for sure he could hear me.

I have to work not to judge myself. I did the best I could with all the things I was going through.