[Jessy1239]

My mom died. It’s been about 10 months. She had a lung transplant. Every complication imaginable. The team was never there for us. But she died after a year and half. It could e been avoided. I can’t just explain the entirety of it . But it’s been incredibly difficult for me. AND MY DAD . I pretend like it’s fine . Oh no. I dknt want to burden people. Again, it’s been about 8 months and I’ve lost myself so much. I dknt trust anyone. Even after it happened, coworkers were like “oh no so sorry” okay…. Let’s talk about me now . I’m just so exhausted at pretending . I miss her so much . I loved her more than anything . Sorry . I know everyone’s mom dies eventually . I should be fine . Especially after 8 months . Especially after her king transplant which was a complete disaster . I’m sorry . I really suck sometimes . I’m obviously drinking. I’m sorry

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Pleas don't apologize for how you feel. Grief is individual and she was your mom. You have every right to feel whatever you need to feel, even when that doesn't feel very good in the moment. It will get easier but nobody can say when that will happen. When my non-bio dad died I joined a grief support group through my church. The hospice here also offers them. It really helped and might be worth looking into.

[Nammu]

My mum died a year ago, she was a week away from her 95th birthday, but it was still hard. I can’t even imagine what you went though. Please don’t apologize. It’s hard.

[nonightowl]

I’ve lost more people than I can count in the last 7 years. Feelings aren’t right or wrong, there’s no timetable, and it’s not linear at all.

Grief groups or therapy have been hit and miss for me. It depended on the facilitator and other members. Also the frequency, distance to travel and how long they met. In hindsight I will never seek out help when it’s too raw or fresh. Filling out forms and going through their “intake” was overwhelming, as I was going through enough.



———
Posted directly on site using iPhone

[TerryL]

i am so very sorry for your loss. 'it could have been avoided' are heartbreaking words. i have heard of and experienced many instances where the medical profession made errors which resulted in death. medical staff are busy and stressed and mistakes can be made or clear communication can be lacking. and when you are grieving you don't have the energy and mindset to look for proof of the errors and to fight for accountability. it is infuriating. i wish i had more comforting words. just know i can empathize with what you and your dad are going through and wish wish wish your mom was still with you both.

[CANDC]

@Jessy1239 I am sorry for your loss. It sounds so difficult for you. She meant so much to you.

Go easy on yourself. Losing a parent is the most difficult loss I have dealt with. Mom died a year ago. She was 94 but no matter how long she lived, it is difficult for me to let go of her as someone I can rely on to be there when I need someone to listen. She was the one I knew would always care.

Without her here I have had to try to find other meaning and comfort in my life. I really am considering therapy and a support group to help get myself back on a stable footing.

What kinds of therapy or support groups have you considered?

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message]

[Fuzzybear]

Jassy1239 I'm so sorry for your loss