Don't know what I expect from posting

Two weeks ago my daughter's mother passed away from cancer. Our relationship was very complicated, and we didn't talk for over two years. But in the last six months we had talked a lot and settled everything. We had plans to move in together and we were both really looking forward to it, as well my daughter was very excited about the idea. Then this happens, and it's really affected me more than I could've imagined. The worst part of it is when I think about my daughter, who is still living with her grandparents halfway across the country. I can't imagine what it's like for a two year old to lose her mother, and it really hurts me that I can't get out there to be with her. Everyday I think that maybe soon it will start to get easier, but it's just getting harder and harder.

I'm so sorry to hear of yours and your daughter's loss. Two weeks ago is such a short time. Grieving is a funny thing...it takes time for one to go through all the emotions that grieving touches. Please give yourself that time you need to work through all those emotions. I'm sorry you are so far away from your daughter right now. I hope you can have contact by phone so you can give her the support she needs and you can have it from her as well. (I know she's little but they do give us such unconditional love and support!)

In time you will feel good about you and your daughters mom putting the past behind you before she left. It is one of those things you will be able to say you don't have a regret about.

Be good to yourself right now.....I'm sure she would want you to do that. Do what you can for your daughter, she really needs you now more than ever!

Take good care!

sabby

I am so sorry for your loss. it is never easy. I think you need to go be with your daughter. she needs you right now. and you need her. take care hon.

Thanks for your replies. It's been really tough the last few weeks. I've been trying to find a way to get out to see my daughter, but she lives on a native reserve in a very isloated part of the country. It would cost almost $2300 to fly there which I just can't afford. But luckily, her grandmother has agreed to fly with her to meet me halfway later this year. But still, as bad a time as I have had with this, I don't know what to expect from my daughter. I haven't even seen her since she started to talk. What the hell am I supposed to say? I'm sorry, but with all the other problems I've had to deal with, this is sorta like the straw that broke the camel's back. I am completely at a loss right now.

I think you really need to spend time with your daughter. you are her father and she needs a parent. I would be finding a way to get custody of her and making a life with her. just me though.

I will be taking custody of her, but probably not until February. I'm just not at all prepared to be a single parent right now, and she and her mother lived with her grandparents almost since she was born, so we just decided it was best for her to stay with them for now. She just lives in such an isolated community that it would cost me almost $2000 to get there so I just can't afford it right now.