Saying Goodbye Again

Monty_girl · Feb 19, 2009, 04:57 PM

The last several months have just been horrible for my family. We lost my husbands grandmother the friday before Christmas. And my husbands grandfather is very ill. He's been in the hospital since Oct. In the past month he's had 2 surgeries and has not come off the breathing tube since the last surgery. Yesterday the doctors told us he needed another surgery. His biles are still leaking and he has started having kidney failure. The doctors left it up to the family if we wanted to do another surgery. We all met yesterday and we don't want to put him through another surgery. We all believe that he wouldn't want the surgery. His Living Will states no life support. But he's been on the breathing machine since the last surgery. Late this afternoon we are all going to the hospital to remove him from the breathing machine.

I'm not sure I really want to go, but my husband called and asked me to go. My husband is going for his father. My father-n-law came by yesterday ( we all live next door to one another, Father-n-law on the right of us and my husbands grandparents lived to the left of us ) but he came by yesterday and just broke down. I've never seen my father-n-law cry like that and I've known him for 19 yrs. I'm so emotional about everything I'm physically feeling sick.

I said my goodbye's to granddad right before the last surgery when he was awake and able to talk to you. I held his hand and told him I Loved him and that I would take care of Dee ( his grandson- hubby ). I don't think I can go into the room and see him like this. I'm just so unsure about what to do. Should I stay in the hallway and wait for hubby to come out?? Or is there really any right thing I should do. I think maybe for my own emotional well being I should hang out in the hallway. But what will other family members say? And yes some of them say nasty things about you and then smile in your face. I just don't know.

mysterytour · Feb 19, 2009, 06:36 PM

as hard as this may be for you..i think your place is by your husbands side......

bebop · Feb 19, 2009, 07:55 PM

I think you at least need to be very close by hon. you know how much you can handle but at least be right outside the door for your hubby. I am so sorry for your loss hon. it is never easy.

Monty_girl · Feb 20, 2009, 01:23 PM

Grand-dad passed away this early this morning. I held his hand and told him I Loved him last night. My husband and I stayed for 2 hours last night with him. We all sat in the floor of his hospital room with him and took turns sitting in the chair beside him where he could see us. He couldn't talk because of the breathing tube, but he would hold your hand and look at you as you talked to him. His death is just really hitting me so very hard. Crying again