I cannot believe this

"Yesterday I was flying high. I felt great. I felt "over the hump" of grief and things were a bit brighter.

Today, right now at this very moment, I could care less what happens to me."

Sounds like grieving to me. Please don't get discouraged. It will take a lot of time for you to feel all the way better, but you will. You can't rush it, though.

Thanks malady, muffin and Liz.

I've run out of words to describe how I feel and the ones I want to use will be censored.

((((((((((((((((((orange)))))))))))))))

I remember when we sold my mom's house 4 years ago when she passed. She and my dad had lived in it since 1950. I grew up in it. It was very hard letting it go and realizing that I would most likely never enter it again. Hang in there, this will pass.

I am so sorry, Orange, for all that you're going through.....Sending you strength vibes to get through this tough time.....

Thinking of you and hoping you are OK. Lizzy B

Just found this.

(((((((((((Orange Blossom))))))))))

I am so very sorry for all the pain and hurt you are going thru. Just sitting with you.

thinking of you my friend.....how are you doing?

What an awful double whammy. My heart aches for you.

miss you orange blossom............take care sweet one

Mandyxx

Thanks for all your support everyone. I really do appreciate it.

I'm holding on to the hope that death only comes in threes and I've reached my limit for the year. I'm also hoping that my mom, my aunt and my cousin were met by my father and both of my brothers.

I sure do feel left out right about now. I keep thinking I'm way too young to have lost my family. We started out as a family of 6, now there's just me and one brother left and if he keeps going the way he is, he'll be dead soon too. I'm still very confused and stunned. I guess I have some "survivor guilt."

(((((dearest orange)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) you nailed it so to speak right on the head. ((survivors guilt)))) .
As you know and i do not want this to be about me. But when i came here after lossing all of mine. And it was me and my sister left. I thought what the heck.
Your family is all up there together. prolly met mine and they are playing cards?
I want you to know im here for you . even thou sometimes I think you are here more for me. Thats why you are still here my dear. So many ppl love and care for you and you still have stuff to do on this earth.
Your unbilogcail sister says so. I hope it was ok to write this
besides whos going to make sure i spell that right ?
My heart goes out to you ((((((((((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))

{{{{{{{{OrangeFloweryBud)}}}}}}}}}}}}

((( okso )))

((( muffin )))

((( all who posted to this thread )))

Thank you for thinking of me. I am sad and drained.

T hasn't been available to me because she has been sick. I haven't seen her since the beginning of April. The last time I saw her we talked about my aunt's death. A week later I left a voice mail about my cousin. Then she called me to tell me she was sick and we haven't connected again to reschedule. So I'm really feeling lost.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Orane blossom }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

sometimes we wander that path feeling alone and lost , not knowing which way to turn......................turn and walk this way, talk to us and lean on us til you can reconnect with T. wE CARE ABOUT YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH WHEN YOUARE NOT AROUND SO COME HERE TO REST YOUR WEARY HEAD.
know it doesnt feel like it hun but yu are not alone we are all here rooting for you and praying for the strength to carry you through all of this


Mandyxx

((( Mandy )))

I am so distraught with grief I can't even see the light of day. I'm grieving everybody today.

My mom and dad.
My 2 brothers.
My 4 grandparents.
My 3 aunts.
My 4 uncles.
My 2 cousins.
My 2 godparents.
My 1 VERY GOOD FRIEND WHO I MISS DEARLY.

I feel alone, abandoned, lost and empty.

I know, I sound like a broken record.

(((((Orange Blossom)))))

I just found this post tonight!! I am sooooo sorry that you have experienced this much loss in the last few months!

I think you are very strong....!!! I don't know how I would cope if I were in your position.

I am sending you and your brother hugs and well wishes!! You both will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care!!

I posted this in another thread in Kudos, but I thought I should post it here too.

I'm sorry if my rant came off sounding like "whoever has the most dead relatives wins". That was not my intent.

It's just that I was looking at wedding pictures and you know how the photographer goes from table to table and takes pictures? Well, for everyone that was no longer here I put a penny over there face. WOW. Wanna talk about shock. Tables full. I mean, you know they're gone but to see it, wow.

And the city officials said the power plant and the mills were safe.

Plus, my aunt that just died last month was the one remaining member (siblings) on my fathers side. There were 7 kids and she was the last one alive. I think that has been hard for me too. At least when she was around, I still felt a connection to my dad.

Anyway, thanks for listening.

I saw T today so I'm feeling better.

PS-- Sorry I forgot you in my rant, Uncle Don, Aunt Peggy and Aunt Helen.