[thunderbear]

My best friend Doug died a few days before Thanksgiving back in 2002. We have been best friends since I was 16. I remember when we were neighbors in the same apartmenx complex. I was 16 and pregnant. My fiance was a crack head and spent our rent money on drugs. And we were gonna get kicked out. Doug and his then wife paid it for me and got me some groceries. That was the first time I met him. Him and his wife ould come and sit with me because I was on bedrest due to leaking amniotic fluid during the last 3 months of my pregnancy. He was the sweetest person. Well in 1999 his wife and him lost their little girl due to SIDS. They ended up divorced and I lost contact with him. We got to hanging out and dated off and on but stayed best friends. On our last 'off time' I had met my now husband and Lost contact with Doug again. One day he was visiting with my mom and I came to see her. I was about 4 months pregnant with my 6 year old and Doug told me he wanted to be with me. He loved me. I felt so bad because I only loved him as a friend. We got into an argument about how I just left (that was when I was a drug addict) and came back and was engaged and pregnant and how HE wnted to marry me. Well we argues for about 30 minutes and he took off. That night he and his brother were suprsing their mom with one of those lighted tree things witha pole that has lights strung down it like a Christmas tree. Well he was balancing the pole nd it hit a powline his brother tried to pull doug off of it and they were both electrocuted. I think about him so much. I have alot of guilt. I miss him so much. I think about how we used to hang out and go out to eat ever saturday night. How we used to go back in my woods and shoot guns at targets. He taught me how to hunt and clean rabbitts. I miss the fun we had together. He was one cool dude.

[bearchic34]

I understand the guilt, surviors guilt sucks! I'm very sorry that your friend died while you were on the outs but I am sure in his heart of hearts he knew how you cared for him. ~gentle hugs~ to you. Send Doug some *angel kisses* I know he will get them