[Catherine2]

Do you ever battle to stay off the pity pot when something else is added to everything else we are dealing with in our lives?

The last several weeks I've been having blood pressure problems, two TIAs that resolved within 72 hours, minimal residual effects--for which I am very grateful, but the fatigue and balance problems remain along with some vision problems
I'm relying on others to drive me wherever I have to go...hopefully that will not be necessary for much longer.

The past year I believe I did well handling the surgeries and infections, along with personal upsets that were troublesome.

I'm trying very hard not to be resentful, to be upbeat, and be patient.
But I'm also a bit po'd about this happening to me. I do not mean to imply that I'm any better than anyone else...only that I am emotionally drained from it.

I have missed being active here at PC, but sometimes all I can do is read and send good thoughts/give thanks for a post. Not much support to give to people who have done so much to help me in the past...

So...how do y'all handle it when you feel like you have been blind sided by yet another health problem?
Sometimes I feel that I am on a roller coaster of feelings... only to have that roller coaster crash and fling me into that "rotten-attitude room."

This depression/anger may be the result of the TIAs...I know this but it does not make it any easier.

Guess I am on that pity pot after all...

In Peace

[Ascension]

I think your signature says more then I ever could. I am sorry that all this has got you feeling a bit troubled and taking a little time from responding to the forums is nothing to feel guilty about. I hope that things start to settle down for you and yours soon.

[bebop]

I know what you mean hon. been there done that too. it stinks! it seems my life too is just one huge merry go round and I want off! don't give up! this too shall pass! I had a tia last year around this time and thankfully no bad long lasting effects except my memory is now shot to heck.

[Catherine2]

Thank you Ascension and bebop for your encouraging replies.
I sincerely appreciate your kindness...

In a few more days, I'll resume driving and that will make a huge difference in my frustrations. As with most people, I would rather be on the giving end and not the receiving end... most likely it is learning another lesson. Oh Joy.

In Peace
Catherine

[Catherine2]

Cave time, I think/I feel...so damn tired

[possum220]

Dear Catherine,

When our heads are battling things, sometimes that's all we can cope with. Injecting physical illness into the mix is often just too much for our brain to deal with. The mind can only deal with so much.

When we are physically ill our bodies go into fight mode. It just gets to be too much. Our senses get overwhelmed with everything. I doubt you are feeling sorry for yourself. You dont need the guilt. Trade it for TLC.

Get Well Soon

[Catherine2]

Thanks, Possum...
You are right, of course. It's hard to remind myself to be as kind to myself as I would be to another person.

Driving today helped tremendously. I didn't mind the cold, the wind, or the bit of sleet. It felt so good to be out and about...wonderful!

I'm snail sliding right now, but at least it's forward movement.

In Peace

[shezbut]

(((Catherine2)))

I am the same way. Over the last year or two, I've recognized that I can only handle so much. Any more than my limit, and I turn into an old computer with a slow flashing icon. I cannot process. Too much information. Too much to handle ~ physically, emotionally, and cognitively.

It feels hard to fully explain my experience. Those who have been there however, can feel what I am talking about. (Hopefully, someone will understand what I'm talking about here. I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes...sorry.)

What I'm trying to say is that possum put it well. You can only handle so much. Give yourself a break for not achieving as much as you expect yourself to achieve. We often expect much more from ourselves than we are actually able to do. We need to remind ourselves of that fact from time to time. You will get better. It may take some time before you're able to do what you want. Or maybe you'll have to accept a couple of limitations, to make the rest of your life more manageable. But, you'll get there. Try to have patience and be honest with yourself. You and your real world are what truly matters in life.

Best wishes to you!

[Catherine2]

Shez,
Thank you...I appreciate the good wishes.
You expressed yourself very well, and your words were encouraging to me.

With so much happening the last few months, my feeling was one of waiting for the other shoe to drop...like I couldn't/shouldn't relax because something else was going to happen.
Wasted energy, of course. Life is life, up and downs, good bad and in between...that other shoe is going to drop, period.
It's part of the rhythm of life.

Yes, I do tend to think that I am still a superwoman...it's difficult to give up that feeling, too.
If I'm honest with myself, I know that I am going to have to accept the new limitations, incorporate the changes into my life, and stop whining about it.

But, yeah I reached the point where I need to put into practice the following quote:
"Choose your battles. Narrowing your focus conserves energy for the things that really mater."
~~it reminds me of the Serenity Prayer~~

In Peace

[Sabrina]

Catherine, I do hope you feel better soon.

[Catherine2]

Thank you, Sabrina...

I do feel better physically and mentally.
There's one more surgery then things should settle down for awhile.
Before I have it, though, I am taking a mini-vacation. Hopefully on the coast...this environment is good for me...healing.
'Course that depends on the tax refund...lol

In Peace