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I just really need someone to talk to, i have multiple problems.. Ive always suffered with OCD which decreased as i got older along with anxiety/depression and a little paranoia, my relationships were always bad i would be constantly jealous/needing reassurance/obsessively having to go over things with my partners. Well 5 years ago i got into drugs quite bad and met my most recent girlfriend through that scene, i managed to have a some what normal relationship suprisingly enough(this being my first without acting the way i did in previous relationships). Anyway 3 1/2 years down the line i was actually doing better with the drugs i was only smoking weed and drinking now and then, which compared to how i was a couple years before was really good i thought. Anyway i started hanging around with some old friends at this time and started hitting the harder drugs now and then, this was when i lost the plot.. I suddenly became incredibly paranoid, jealous etc etc 6months later i wound up in a mental health hospital where i was injected with antipsychotic drugs for a couple months which left me damaged. My girlfriend also left me at this time. I went through ALOT of really messed up experiences because of that injection, i now have problems walking/talking/moving/thinking/increased anxiety.. loads of really weird things. Anyway i kind of did the worst thing possible at this time and started going out alot and hitting the drugs even harder, i fell out with all my friends/people i used to know because of how weird i was acting since that injection.. I was seeing doctors in between, neurologists etc MRI scans etc, well all my results are normal yet im still stuck like this. Its been 8months since me and my girlfriend split, a few months ago i started seeing her again randomly as friends and there was actually hope of maybe getting back with her but that was ruined by me.. I slept with some other girl a couple weeks before seeing her again. I wasnt intrested in this girl at all i just saw it as 'someone actually wants me even like this' Anyway the girl i slept with harassed me for the next 2 months and then got my girlfriend involved. Havnt spoke to my girlfriend in weeks, have no friends, no family. Just me. Im off sick from work but to be honest i dont think i could ever go back like this, I find very little enjoyment in anything and the things i did enjoy i dont anymore because of the damage from that injection. I now dont go out because every time i do its just another kick in the teeth, but like i said i dont have anyone to go see now anyway. There's no way im meeting new people like this, i am so anxious around people now its insane. Ive got another Neuro appointment next month, that seems to be my last hope. am sorry if this isnt in the right place but i really needed to offload and get any kind of feedback, am really lost. thanks
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Aug 24, 2012, 01:45 PM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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