[Jenn1fer82]

There are a few things that I've been concerned about a person that I've kept in touch with, off and on. He's 21 and really laid back. He's the type of guy who could go on a day or two without a shower. He doesn't care to groom himself and wears anything that lays around I suppose. Oddly he tells me he still doesn't know how to drive and it sounds as though he's not interested to drive anytime soon. Most people who are turning 15-16 can't hardly wait to get their driver licesen even if they don't have a car. He also doesn't work just a student at a community college. We met at school. He does say he wants to major in business.

I've observed something about him that just made me question him. Is he really not that motivated not to have a clearer out look on life, no job, no ability to drive a car and taking things at a real slow pace in working toward his major.

There was one day his shirt was lifted up and I saw all these red bumbs on his lower back. My first impression was (!!OH my goodness! !) thats a huge break out of pimples (eww). I thought this guy needed a shower. I then started to notice that there are days he'll be coughing where he just couldn't hold back. I'm not a doctor but his cough wasn't the normal cough, it sounded so heavy as though he was 50 years old.

Am I just reading too much into all of this and making it a bigger deal then it really is? Is he just a guy who simply doesn't care about he looks and taking the long way in his outlook on school and career?

[lenjan]

Nothing wrong with taking the long way. I myself was on the 12-year plan for my bachelor's ... now have a master's and a successful career. I took most of my 20s to grow up, and then went from there.

I also do not really care how I look. I usually won't go more than a day without a shower, but I've been known to do it, especially when depressed. Clothes mean nothing to me, and unless I'm going on a job interview or something, I don't wear makeup. Just not a priority. You like me or you don't the way I am.

I think he's fine. I live with two overachievers and they drive me nuts trying to turn me into them. Being "laid-back" is A-OK.

CB

[lenjan]

BTW -- I am the hardest worker you will ever meet -- "laid-back" and "lazy" do not necessarily go together.

[drunksunflower]

the cough sounds concerning. that doesn't sound so much 'pimples' as a rash, also???

i dunno i could have been classified as lazy with the amount of lectures i missed, and even when completing my PhD I was hardly the nerd about it.

honours year here is accepted as the most challenging year at university ... i could write a 5000 word essay in 48 hours and get an A. If i'd spent 3 weeks like most people I still wouldn't have done any better. So what's the point?

it's not how MUCH you work it's HOW you work IMO!!!

i think you are right to be concerned for your friend physically, though.