[lout12]

Hi, for as long as I can remember I've been having these periods of what I call intrusive thoughts, except I'm 100% certain that that is not what it is in even the slightest. I'm not sure how to explain this though, so I'm just going to do my best and hope I don't sound completely crazy. This is normally how it goes: I'm listening to music, a song comes on, my entire body freezes and I almost go into a state of shock physically, I sweat, shake, and my eyes get super wide. But mentally it's entirely different, thoughts just run through my mind at a super speed pace anywhere from 1-5 minutes, I'd tell you what they are, but I can't ever remember what they are. I remember 3 things: it's both genders, a different "story" of thoughts every time, and the only word I EVER remember is "tremelo"? Is that even a thing? I hardly hear anything from the "outside world", and when I do, it just sounds like the crazy things going through my head. It's not only music; it's basically any sound that triggers it for example, the other day I was at work and my boss said something and it happened. She was talking to a coworker at the entire time and I didn't hear any of what she had to ACTUALLY say, in my head it was a bunch of nonsense that I don't remember. For music, I always turn the music off; keeping it on keeps the thoughts running longer.

I'm sorry if this sounds completely crazy to you who is reading this, and I don't blame you. I don't have a fantastic way to explain it. But at this point, it's become such a burden to my life that I need to know if there is a way to get rid of it. I don't know if gender and age are of any importance but I'm a 15 year old female. I've constructed an incredibly small list of the songs I remember triggering it which are below (that's probably not helpful in any way but just in case I suppose)
- "What we've got" Manatee Commune
- "Broccoli" D.R.A.M (can't listen to this one without it happening every single time)
- "The universe we dreamt" Matt DiMona
- "Nights with you" MØ
- "No stress" Louis B
Thanks.

[*Laurie*]

Hi lout12, 'Tremolo' is a musical term...has to do with a wavering sound effect.

I'm sorry you have such a disturbing experience at times. You don't sound 'crazy.' It is impossible for me to tell you whether or not you are having symptoms that need treatment. Since the episodes bother you so much, though, I encourage you to speak with your doctor, or reach out in some way for professional help. You can even call a crisis line. Just reach out so you can get professional feedback about what exactly you're experiencing.

[htoun]

Have you thought about getting tested for epilepsy. There is one where instead of the "normal" shake type the person is frozen. I have never heard anyone explain what they where thinking during one but it could be like you said. Wouldn't hurt to talk to a doctor and might get you an answer.