[MuddyBoots]

I just got discharged from the hospital from an array of problems (vitamin/mineral deficiencies, a mallory Weiss tear, electrolyte imbalances, and an infection because I do stupid things and don’t take care of myself). I just checked my MyChart and things are STILL off just not as significantly. I am still tired (but have no safe place to nap), feel incredibly weak, foggy, don’t want to eat, have a headache, etcetera. I feel like crashing on a couch and never getting up.

My hemoglobin, RBC, MCV, MCH, MCHC, and MPV are lower than MyChart’s definition of normal, some of them pretty off. Apparently I’m well enough for d/c though so I guess it can’t be that bad.

I want to get better physically and mentally. They go hand in hand. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.

[mote.of.soul]

Hey there Muddy. If it was me (and it has been me), I'd pick a day to stay straight and sober, and start going to AA and NA meetings where there is support and possible friendship and contact with like minds. Begin a new way of doing things. Change in habits will produce the inner change. This requires great effort and self belief. You may find many reasons to avoid change but that's where you must draw on your inner courage which I know you have. That would be my starting point. Also, you need nutrition. I'd make that a regular thing for health of body and mind. I think you know what you need to do. Push through the fears. You're doing it for you.

[Nammu]

Moat said it well, I second that

[MuddyBoots]

I’ve been clean since I got back and I don’t think I used heavily when I was gone because I didn’t have withdrawals other than being tired, weak, and sore, and I haven’t even had any cravings or urges to use.

I fell asleep at the library and I can barely keep my eyes open. This is not normal for me.

Not sure how to go about nutrition. I haven’t binged/purged in weeks that I know of.

[MuddyBoots]

I wish I actually felt better before being discharged to these streets. I get at this point it’s just a waiting game as the antibiotics do their work, but it’s hard to get proper nutrition without money, no appetite, and not enough energy/motivation to walk down to the soup kitchen for breakfast and lunch (they don’t do dinner).I don’t really feel like being a burden on anyone I know that’s offered a couch to nap on and a meal either.