[Having2LeftFeet]

I haven't spoken about my illness as I felt I wanted to perhaps help others and not put the attention on myself. I guess it's time to share and get support.

I have Lupus. I have been diagnosed for over 10 years. I was ill before but my previous PCP couldn't get his head out of his "hind parts" to really put his heart and sould into finding a diagnosis. I finally found a PCP that ran a battery of tests and there it was. Both my husband were shocked as I didn't know much about it. I heard of it, though. I was given things to read to help me come to terms with it and was referred to a Rhuemitologist. I had every test imaginable. MRI, CT scan, myelograms, SPECT scans, etc. Come to find out that I had 2 herniated disks in my back and explains the lower back pain. From then to now. I have had a total right knee replacement, a cervical disk replacement going into the neck and replacing it with a metal plate. I have also had epidural spinal shots which made my back worse. I have a right shoulder rotator cuff, and carpel tunnel release.

Three years ago we moved north for a very good job offer for my husband and a great hospital for me. Dartmouth is one of the best in New England. When I got here, I was totally addicted to narcotics. A lot of narcotics. I had oxycontin, oxycodone, demerol, methadone, morphine, lortab, vicodin, and a class 4 narcotic called Stadol which is administered in the nose. Half the time I was out of it. I let my family slip through my fingers. I am happy to say that I am 957 days clean and wouldn't go back to narcs for anything unless I was on my death bed.

I have type SLE Lupus. That means it effects my bones, joints, brain, fatigue, migraines, and every day functions. In addition, it attacks the major organs. I now have epilepsy, "diplopia" or double vision corrected with prism lenses and bi-focals, very attractive. My thyroid is whacked out, I have hypertension, fibromyalgia which is no surprise, degenerative bone and disk disease, and instead of two herniated disks I now have 5 and I am fighting surgery. I have been on disability for almost 4 years and I thank God for that. My husband takes very good care of me. Every day is a challange but I get up in the morning with a positive attitude even if I am in bad pain. I will not lay there and die. Yes, I am tired of doctors and tests but they are saving my life. My hair is falling out and I have a rash on my face some of the time. I cannot go into the sun for any length of time.

Through it all, I still thank God because when I do go to the hospital, I see so many older people that have more severe illnesses than me and then I humble myself. Comes with the territory I guess.

((((((((((((Angel)))))))))))))