[Junerain]

I started with setting a boundary against my evil mother, next, I feel, is being less promiscuous. I am starting to love someone, and he is starting to sense I have been unfaithful to him...I was not sure at what point it got as serious or exclusive as it did, but it did somehow and I want to honor that...he travels a lot but I want to remain okay, not give in to temptations that seem to be all around, seem to be so within my power.

The other thing (can you tell I am a drama queen) is I am addicted to eating out, I get a high from the social aspect of it, being given my food out of nowhere by a kind soul that engages in conversation. Could be lonlieness, I suppose, but also it is drama, drama is an ongoing search for me.

I want to live a more traditional life, and I never thought I'd say that. I usually pride myself on number one my eccentricities..but what good are eccentricities if they lead to less healthiness?

I guess I hurt emotionally. What caused this pain I do not know, the very first origin. Probably mommy dearest- she never hit me, just hit with words, with negativity, then denial she ever said such cruel things.

The world is no longer my enemy, my locus of control has shifted, to the point where I control my life, and my life does not control _me. I want to run with that feeling, let it spill over into all my aspects of my life....be the Junerain I could barely dream Junerain to ever be when she was more mentally ill....those days are over, but a memory.......