Worried about my Neice

I was talking to my sister yesterday after she got back from a doctor appointment with her daughter, my neice. We'll call my neice Kate. My sister is upset because the doctor said that Kate is extremely overweight. Kate is 9 years old, and she weighs 145 pounds. I agree with the doctor....she is extremely overweight. She is allowed to eat all the time, and anything she wants. I feel so bad for her that I can hardly stand it. She is made fun of at school and everything. My sister is very upset also. I don't want to push blame off on anyone, but I do feel that it's my sister who is at fault. She has another daughter who is 6, and she has no weight problems at all. My sister is angry with me because I agree with the doctor. I am very close to my neices, and I want to help so badly. But I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Thanks.

-Jennifer-

Hi Jenn ,

I have a friend who is having a similar problem with her 10 year old daughter. It is not an easy topic to deal with as people are very reluctant to deal with weight issues as to not hurt a persons feelings.

In my friends case, I beleive that her daughter eats out of boredom, not because she is hungry. Now adays I think it is easier for kids to get into a pattern of "couch patoatoism syndrome". It is easier to sit on the couch and watch TV, lay around listening to music rather then go outside and be active. This is where we, as parents need to take some responsibility and direct our children to go and play outside rather then sit around, being bored and there is nothing better to do then eat or sleep with is very unhealthy.

I think your sister is having a hard time with this because she feels maybe she is to blame? Not really sure. I would gently suggest to your sister that it is in her daughters best interest to follow the doctors orders because other health issues can arise from this. Diabetes, heart problems, etc.

Little things can make the difference in a childs weight. Cutting out juices and soda's, chips and cookies. You will be surprised.

My friend started giving her child a Special K breakfast bar and an apple for breakfast. She lost 4 pounds in 4 weeks. This is a start.

Like I said, this is a very touchy subject and there really isnt an easy way to approach it. Please keep us posted, ok.


Hugs,

Jen

i have the same issue. i have one daughter, who was/is of a normal weight, played sports, etc. however, my youngest started putting on weight at about 6 yrs. of age. she's 17, almost 18 now, and it's always been a struggle for her. we found out why. she has hypothyroidism. not only did she get the genes from her father, but she has a real and phsysical condition that adds to her weight. her calories do not metabloize and burn as they should.

i would have her tested...especially with the other child being of normal weight in the same household. it makes sense yes? also, hypothryroidism causes the children to be sluggish (appear bored), have no energy (again appear bored), etc, etc, etc.

i blamed myself as well. as i said, there are two children in that house and one has no weight problem at all. it sounds like there's more going on. dr's can be cruel too. we dealt with one once. i had my family dr call her. he was ticked.

now is the time to invesitigate the physical and emotional aspects of this. i would start with the physical. there may be no "fault" here.

good luck,

kd

Jennifer,

I'm going through the exact opposite with my two kids. My son is average and my daughter is malnourished. Two kids in the same house getting fed the same food. My daughter gets picked on for being small and under developed. She eats all the time too, but she doesn't gain.

Try not to point blame. Your sister is probably beating herself about it just fine.

Another thing - the kids next door had always been heavy until the last year or so. They both shot up in height and grew into their weight.

I'd say be supportive, don't point fingers, have healthy snacks available for her. Once my daughter found out from the doctor what she needs to do to get healthy, she really took a interest in what she eats. Hopefully the same will happen for Kate.

Thanks to all of you!! Yes, maybe I am pushing blame off when I don't really need to. I hadn't even thought that maybe it could be something medically wrong with her. It is certainly a touchy subject, and feelings can be hurt easily over this. I'm positive my sis feels EXTREME guilt because of it. I think she needs to find a new pediatrician that could refer her to some type of specialist. (This doc she goes to now IS, in fact, very rude and hateful..I took one of my kids to him once and never took them back!) Kate might have what KD was talking about. Because the few words you said about the disease describe her. And, then again, she might not have anything medically wrong at all. But I think it's definitely smart to look into it. I'm gonna call my sis and tell her about it tonight. ((((Jen))))) ((((kd)))) ((((wi)))) Thanks bunches!

-Jennifer-

((((((((((((((((((jennifer)))))))))))))))))))))

is there a way that you can tell you sister about a "friend of yours" who had a child the same way at about the same age and what happeened...and that it was medical? that might help her alot and help to mend your relationship.

if you need more info, please don't hesitate to pm me, k?

be safe,

kd

Thank you, Kimmy, for suggesting a thyroid disorder. I was going to mention it too. Some children have this disease.