ER is so awful, I'ld rather risk not going.

ONE year ago, I felt so weak carrying in some groceries that I went to the ER. They admitted me for severe anemia. I got a blood transfusion - one bag of red blood cells. I got put through tests, but they couldn't find any source of blood loss.

Monday I went to the ER with the same extreme weakness. Same diagnosis - severe anemia. They gave me 2 bags of packed red blood cells.

Six days later - today - I feel extremely weak again. I'm fine staying on the couch, watching TV. Soon as I get up, I realize I can't stay on my feet for long. So I know I should go back to the ER. The problem is I just hate the place.

I got admitted twice in May with a severe intestinal infection. Altogether, that was 7 days, which I spent lying in beds in hallways. This is a big, teaching hospital in a good size city. We're not having a severe COVID infection rate. Still they got beds strewn around in hallways. Sometimes they close down a unit with a bunch of rooms, even though the hallways are littered with beds.

The ER is a snakepit. You spend hours in the dirty waiting room. Staff can be so downright nasty. They have inexperienced nurses doing the blood draws (so they can learn.) Monday, they butchered me trying to get blood. They seem to totally not care. One young nurse who got frustrated trying to get my blood drawn said, "I hate my effin job." After that, I wouldn't let her touch me.

Whenever I stand and walk from one room to the next, my heart races like crazy. My heart rate goes over 120 bpm. That's another reason I should go to the hospital. But I got too depressed the last time I was there. I just hate the place.

I feel so depressed over what that place is like, I'ld rather risk staying home than go there. I figure my PCP might arrange out-patient treatment for me. That's not very realistic with the way the system works. I just don't care.