Amazing turnaround. My son is finally maturing and *gasp* NICE!

From the age of fourteen to eighteen my son was a teenage terror. I struggled to raise him and even tried to put him in a home for wayward teens because what I was doing wasn't working and at one point I even feared that he might become violent toward me. He certainly voiced violent fantasies.

When I finally got to the point that I had to leave my house for a few days so I would not physically assault the little twit I said enough already. I can't change him but I refuse to live with him acting this way so we had a long talk and a contract he signed and I made it mighty clear that although he was troubled and I loved him I would no longer tolerate the disrespect and he could change or he could leave and if that meant living homeless on the streets so be it. His choice.

Two years after initiating tough love my son is maturing. He still has his rude moments but nothing like before. This week I realized how much he has changed after hearing two comments.

The first was a question to me. He asked what would I do if I c@me home @nd he w@s intoxic@ted with @lcohol. I h@ve t@lked to him @bout the d@nger of @lcohol. Nobody told me you could stop bre@thing from @lcohol poisoning so when I went to college & st@rted binge drinking the only re@son I didn't die w@s bec@use when I w@s cr@zy drunk w@s I @lw@ys threw up. But @nyw@y b@ck to my point... My response to his question w@s I would @sk him why he h@d m@de the decision to get drunk & @sk if there w@s @ problem or stressor th@t h@d provoked him to drink. He s@id the re@son he @sked w@s he h@d @ convers@tion with @ cl@ssm@te who @sked him if he h@d ever considered trying @lcohol & my son h@d told him he h@d wondered wh@t it would be like but he still lived with his mom & his mom owned the house & h@d rules & expect@tions th@t he respected.

I w@s stunned. M@ture respect! My defi@nt child!?! How did this h@ppen? Wow.

Then yesterd@y we were h@ving @ discussion @bout the differences between the @ttitudes of my son & I versus my dysfunction@l mother & sisters. Specific@lly bec@use one sister w@nts to win the lottery & thinks money would solve @ll her problems. She not just w@nts to win the lottery but she expects it. My sister h@d s@id recently th@t when she wins she will go to the B@h@m@s. Ok@y wh@tever if th@t m@kes you h@ppy go to the B@h@m@s. My son & I were t@lking @bout how winning the lottery would @ffect us. He s@id he still would w@nt to work @t @ job he enjoyed. Good for him. I s@id if I won the lottery I would buy @ nice f@rm & h@ve @ rescue f@rm for unw@nted horses th@t needed love. I then s@id if I h@d money I would love to get some nice c@lm horses & h@ve ther@peutic riding for dis@bled children. I s@id c@n you im@gine how life ch@nging it could be for @n @utistic child to ride @ horse? Th@t would be so rew@rding to me.

Then my son s@id to me, "Mom, you @re @ nice person. You c@re @bout people & @nim@ls".

Wh@t? My son just told me I @m nice?! Stunned @g@in.

Wh@t h@ppened to turn my monster child into @ kind, respectful person? I h@d lost hope th@t I could ch@nge him & I guess truly I didn't - he ch@nged himself. Perh@ps being confronted with living on the streets w@s @n influence? I don't know how it h@ppened but just think, fin@lly it h@ppened.

(Would somebody ple@se fix my keybo@rd, this dysfunction@l letter thing is most @nnoying)

So to @ll you p@rents r@ising hellions & wondering if there is hope they will ch@nge, yes, somehow, somew@y, they c@n grow up & ch@nge.

He did see you care enough about yourself to put down rules to protect yourself and your home and later realize that those rules were also good for him. You set a good example for him which he did eventually realize. It helped his self worth.

Yoda,

As I got older, and especially when I had my own daughters, I realized just how lucky I was to have my mom! She not only unconditionally loved me, she taught me how to love unconditionally. It was WWIII at my house between us during my teenage years, but now we are best friends. We learn!

I am glad it is better!

Lol oh yoda....yep thats kids for ya....once they hit like 12...from 12 to like 19....its crazy...pure h*ll....or so my parents have told me . I only have a 6 month old son...however I will keep this thread in the back of my mind when my son starts acting up..oh wait..he already does...i guess my kid decided to start early lol....anywho..im very happy to hear that its finally working out!! Good for you and your family!!

This thread gives me hope! Thank you.

I had a really good relationship with my mom until... maybe a year or two ago. I'd crack a joke about being a late bloomer except it really isn't funny.