8 year old got hurt "at school"...???

Thank you ((Zooropa)) for explaining and opening up about your life and marriage. If the principle corroborates your daughter suffered a straddle injury, then this sounds reasonable to me IMO.

I agree with ((Eskielover)) that every child should be spoken to about boundaries and how no one should touch their private parts and vice-a-versa. From a very young age I told my girls that no one should touch their privates and I role played with them. Sadly the majority of child molestations are by a family member or friend of the family, so I would say to my girls "what if your dad's friend offered to give you a ride"?? I made it clear to my girls, if that nice relative or friend of the family over steps the boundaries, they no longer have to be polite and nice. I told them, it's perfectly fine to be rude, scream and run away. So if you have this talk with her, at least she knows to say no and tell someone if God forbid it ever happens.

I'm very sorry you lost your kids due to the suicide attempt. I realize he basically took advantage of the circumstances and has you 'by the neck', so to speak. Since you're not divorced yet, could you get some legal representation and win your kids back. You can do this by doing well in therapy and this is proof you're stable now. You can bring up, that your husband was abusive to you and violent. Don't give up, just because you went through a bad time, doesn't mean you can't get well and fight for them.

I think you can relax as long as your daughter's story coincides with the principles. Have that discussion I talked about above and let her know she has rights and is in control of her body. Keep yourself well and hopefully you can get your kids back. Just because you illness caused you to make a mistake, isn't reason to lose your kids for good. Since you're still married I think it would be very wise to start divorce preceding against him. Find a good lawyer who'll stick up for your rights.

Here is a good website for you to look at:

http://www.nami.org

I have definitely had a lot of conversations with my kids about good touch/bad touch, how keeping secrets can hurt people, how you can't always tell when someone is "safe" or not.

I'm looking forward to (finally) seeing my daughter and talking to her after school today.

Good to know you've had those conversations with your kids. Best of luck and enjoy your time together.

Major internet crash here so I haven’t been online for a couple of days. I’m so glad to hear that things seem to be on the up and up. Since your children have a GAL, if you have any concerns in the future, I would contact him/her immediately.

yeah, it didn't even occur to me to contact the GAL until a couple days after I found out about the incident, and then it was the weekend so I had to wait until Monday. Just shows how much out of my head I was, just not thinking straight.

I had a good visit w/my kids tonight and spent a little time talking to my little one. She seems fine, acting like her usual self and says she doesn't have anymore pain or bleeding. I talked to her again about good touch/bad touch and what to do if she ever has any questions or feels weird about something someone says or does to her.

I really think this did happen the way she described it to her principal. I am also glad that I did call CPS and I know there were a couple other reports to them, too, from people that I talked to. I am glad to know that they will likely investigate and I don't feel bad about calling them. Much better to have over-reacted than to not deal with what could possibly have been a case of CSA.

If there are any further developments I will post here. I fully expect her father to come unglued when/if he hears from CPS. I will deal with that when it happens.

It is hard to say what CPS will do to investigate. Likely they will speak to the school, perhaps the doctor. Whether or not they actually come to the child's home is optional. Somebody called CPS on me when I was divorcing my abusive ex twenty years ago and they talked to me on the telephone and they talked to my nurse manager about the situation but never came to my house.

It is good that your daughter knows to tell you if something inappropriate happens. Too often little ones feel ashamed and hide it for years (I did).

Let us know if you learn anything new.

CPS has been involved with our family before, at the time of my suicide attempt, so that fact may cause them to be more aggressive with their follow up on this than they might otherwise be. On the other hand, they are overburdened and this may not be a high priority compared to other cases they are dealing with. So I don't know what to expect but am prepared for anything.

I would imagine that dealing with CPS must be extremely stressful and frustrating if you feel that they are involved unnecessarily. But I hope that your husband would understand that you did this with his daughter’s best interest at heart. It’s not like you call them every other day for no reason.

I'm happy you spoke to your daughter and she corroberated the same story as the principle - I think you can feel peaceful now. I agree you shouldn't feel guilty about calling CPS - hopefully your husband knows to be on his toes.
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Trigger - speaks about attempted SA



I'm also glad you spoke again about good/bad touch. I''ve told this story before here at PC, but I want to share it again. When I was a young girl, my mother warned me frequently about strangers, but she didn't warn me about family or friends possibly being a predator.

When I was 13 my BIL grabbed me and tried to kiss me and actually whined about not getting anything from me. I can't express how totally stunned I was. I knew him since I was 5, so he was like a brother to me. Usually when people are stunned/shocked they freeze and that's when SA happens. Luckily for me my instincts kicked in, plus I was fuming he would do this to my sister. I pushed him and ran.

So the reason I'm telling this story, isn't just for you Zooropa(cause you're having these talks) but for anyone who knows or has children. Teach children what to do if that great relative, friend or neighbor tries to touch them - not just the strangers in the world. Role play and teach them what to say and do. When it happened to me I froze for a second, but if my mother had prepared me - I would have been more confident in my decision and told on him. I only confided in my brother when I was 25. If my mom(I don't blame her) would have warned me about 'familiar SA' I wouldn't have been so shocked and told on him the next day, instead of being so flustered.