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Old Sep 13, 2010, 03:47 AM
silentandscared's Avatar
silentandscared silentandscared is offline
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Posts: 2,938
My daughter is 11 years old and has just started at her new school. In the uk the children leave their first school so leaving behind many of there friends. My youngest child goes into school early and this allows me to still drop off my daughter and her school.So l still take her and pick her up each day.
The problem seems to be actually going in first thing in the morning as when l collect her she is chatty and appears cheerful. I ask her about her day and she says it's been 'alright' (which l think means it was good) but then as the night progresses she develops headaches, tummy aches etc. Unitl today l have given her a pill and still taking her anyway hoping that this is just an adjustment period but then today she refused the pill for her tummy ache saying it wont help anyway but she ended up sobbing in the car.
With the best will in the world l can't send her in when she is so obviously distressed, so l parked outside the school and tried to talk to her but to no avail. I told her l needed to let the school know that she wouldnt be in and she didnt want me to go in but l told her l had to. While l was in there l spoke with her head of year and explained how the last two weeks have been and my concerns..............so we have agreed that l will take my daughter in at 8.15 am tomorrow to discuus with the head of year and my daughter what the problem is and wether it is just an adjustment time for her.
As a family we have all been through so much since nov ............breakup of my marriage, house being repossessed, death of her grandfather and now her dad has a new girlfriend...............Is starting a new school just the last straw for my daughter????????? i'm so scared that all of her stability has gone to pot, she seems to have lost all her confidence and seems that she needs to be next to me
How do l help her get those precious carefree days back.............as a mom l am struggling so any ideas, suggestions, comments anything would be greatly appreciated. Have you been in this situation / or was there something that your mom could have done to help you

please anyone................................l dont want her to hurt like this
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"never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish....
few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy when they believe you"

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  #2  
Old Sep 13, 2010, 04:17 AM
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Sabrina Sabrina is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
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I know what you are going through in terms of worrying for your daughter. My son went through some terrible bullying by a teacher when he was 11 and the extent of it was so bad that he began to wet his bed. It broke my heart to see the pain he was in and I had no idea how to comfort him. How to help him. I just held him lots, told him I loved him (and of course, took action at the school).

Your daughter definitely seems to be feeling very pressured with all the changes in her life and it is good that she has a loving and caring mother to stand by her and support her. Give her lots of love, and hugs, and tell her lots that you love her.

Hopefully, with time, love and support, she will be able to adjust to her new school. She must be feeling very overwhelmed.

As must you. Hugs to you during this time.
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l want to help my daughter

Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long.
Thanks for this!
silentandscared
  #3  
Old Sep 13, 2010, 04:28 AM
Anonymous29402
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Can you offer her another school ? A new start elsewhere may help .

Some therapy may be needed as well as she has had alot to deal with over the past year.

Just a thought but..
How about asking the head of year if there is another child having problems and letting them two get together maybe even put them in the same class ?

Last edited by Anonymous29402; Sep 13, 2010 at 04:34 AM. Reason: adding info.
Thanks for this!
silentandscared
  #4  
Old Sep 13, 2010, 01:55 PM
Anonymous32910
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Have you spoken to the teacher to see what she is seeing at school? Or even the school counselor could check on her. If she is fine when you pick her up, then perhaps too much attention to this may be making matters worse. It would probably help if she could perhaps have a job to do each morning at school (i.e. help her teacher with a few chores, help the librarian or the counselor). Something to look forward to each morning. A bit of an ego boost, if you will.
Thanks for this!
Anonymous29402, silentandscared
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