Child with Aspergers

About two or three months ago I started a new job as a nanny. I love the two boys to death, but I've found the older one (7 years old) can be a bit difficult sometimes. (Other times he's truly an angel.) He has Aspergers, and unfortunately I don't know a whole lot about it except for the little bit his parents have told me.

He's extremely picky with food, and mostly all he eats are waffles, yogurt, plain bread, plain tortilla chips, McDonalds chicken nuggets, and various sweets. He takes FOREVER to eat sometimes, which can be really frustrating.

He loves video games, and is very possessive and controlling of his Wii and DS; He's also very controlling of his younger brother, and is really mean to him sometimes. (For instance, yelling at his brother as if it were his fault that he lost on his video game. When the younger boy was sitting silently, just watching.)

I'm not sure what exactly are symptoms of aspergers and what aren't, but these are generally the issues we (myself and his parents) have with him. If anyone has any advice about how to handle him, or any tips on raising him, anything at all, I'd be grateful. He really is a great kid, and very intelligent, and I'd love to help him and see him succeed in everything he does. (School, socializing, eating, etc.)

Thanks in advance
~Raven

Hey Mizz (or do you prefer Raven?),
I have aspergers and my son has autism. The best book on aspergers I have ever read (and I read a lot) is "All Cats Have Aspergers syndrome". It is a childrens book and mostly pictures but it's the best and just a few minutes to read.
The things you are saying about food are sensory issues. Sensory issues are common with aspergers. It just means that our different senses don't filter things the way yours do.
If you are a reader the two publishing houses that publish the majority of good stuff on aspergers and autism are:
http://www.asperger.net/
http://www.jkp.com/catalogue/aspergerautism

My thoughts on autism are not always consistant with mainstream beliefs. I adopted my son because he was in an institution and they thought he would never be able to live outside an institution. He has lived with me for 4 years now and is well on his way towards independent living for an 11 year old. He is in public schools and is mostly mainstreamed. He is also off all meds.

As far as the 7yr old bullying his brother make a strict family rule about treating others with respect. Emphasize the importance of these rules often. Keep them short and simple and in a posted where everyone can see them. Just be careful on wording... He will hold you and his parents to these rules unless they are clearly exempt in how the rule is written. How you say things can be very important as we process language very literally. Make it clear that when one of the rules is broken you/and or the parents are resposible for consiquences. Also, our brains have a very hard time with contractions and "no". It is like our brain doesn't even hear the negation. So... try to word things in a positive way. "we keep our hands to ourselves" is a little long but it will work better than "no pushing". I try to keep rules to 3 or 4 words total but you may be able to be a little more flexible.
A lot of times when we seem to be "misbehaving" it is because we don't understand. Either we don't get that the behavior is wrong or we don't know an appropriate way to get our needs met. Teaching us to do it right will go much farther than any punishment.
If you talk about the video games as "his wii and his DS" it tells him that as "his" he gets to make the decision of who uses them, how and when. A feeling of ownership will often create a strong feeling of responsibility and controling behaviors.

Language is both the hardest and easiest way to help manage autism spectrum disorders. The way you phrase things is deeply ingrained and hard to change. It will, in my eperience, create the greatest changes.

Please feel free to PM me with any questions. If you are having trouble with a specific behavior I may be able to give you a better idea of how he is understanding things. Be as specific as possible and try to include what happened just before and just after the behavior. In school this is called a FBA or functional behavioral analysis.

Keeping a log or journal will also help you discover patterns.

Oh, and there is also another forum on here for autism spectrum disorders. It is pretty quiet over there but there are others on the spectrum that hang there.
Also, I suggested PM as I don't often visit the prenting forum or the autism one and may miss a post... so you could also post and if you want my opinion but don't hear from me PM me and let me know where the post is.