worried

My 8 year old and I had another fight today. He just didn't understand why I can't take his 2 year old brother to Skate City when it's way past his bedtime and he's already cranky to begin with. My 8 year old was extremely moody again today.

Eventually, he laid down in the topbed of his bunkbed, just staring at the ceiling, saying things like "Who wants me?", "Nobody loves me.", "You don't even like me.", "What's the point?". He said I don't talk to him, I just yell at him. Which is not true, but when I have to *literally* tell him 20 times to get in the shower, then yes, at some point I get frustrated and start yelling. I can't stand it when he completely ignores me.

It just scares me when he says stuff like that. It always makes me wonder if I should take him to the ER. But then, like now after his shower, he acts compltely normal again, like nothing happened.

I can't wait to see his therapist friday. I will definitely talk to her about medication. My son also said that "Things just keep getting worse.", which makes me think that the talk therapy alone isn't working.

I'm just worried about him. I don't want to lose him.

Hi Whenwillitend

My son acted out like that when he was that age too. From what I could tell, it was always a desperate attempt to get out of doing chores and/or get what he wanted. It helped for me to play his bluff. I would say something like....

"Who wants you, who loves you and who likes you? I DO!! I also like 'respect' and 'cooperation.' What's the point? We are a FAMILY and we need to work together. It's MY job to provide you with the nourishment/tools you'll need in order to grow into a man, live in your community, and survive in the real world. It's YOUR job to do your homework, learn your lessons, practice your skills of daily living, and contribute as a member of this family. If you don't want me to yell, take your shower BEFORE I have to ask you to do so."

Then I'd drop what I was doing/finish the task at hand, and drag a chair into his room. I'd sit back in the chair and say "There, I talked to you. What else would you like to talk about?"

Things like that were a daily battle with me and my son. It got a little easier when he took more interest in his own self care (thanks to puberty) - but the teenage years carried a whole new set of issues.

Hang in there.